James Wylder, Writer

​You are cordially invited

to the funeral of

Lady Aesculapius

Outside of Time and Space

Lady Aesc's Factory of Crystal

"Graelyn and Arch HAVE to be there," said Lady Aesc, lying on her stomach over a layout of the main funeral area. With a red crayon, she scribbled Graelyn and Arch's names into two empty squares laid out where seats would be.
    "Quick question," asked Jason, removing another slice of pineapple pizza from the box. "Where are we gonna find a venue? There's a lovely little chapel in Newcastle near my parents' house."
    "Don't worry about it, the Factory of Crystal can grow a venue," said Lady Aesc. "It is a Factory after all. I'm also going to fire some obituaries out there, make sure my death is the hottest of hot gossip. We were floating around in a recently-destroyed universe when that parcel appeared, so the last thing the killer would be expecting is a funeral held on my Factory, having now returned safely to the Dawns. They might show up out of sheer curiosity."
    "And you're attending in secret?"
    "If the killer does attend this funeral, they can't be allowed to know that their murder attempt failed. I'll say I'm a relative or something. Oh!" Lady Aesc jumped to her feet. "What am I going to wear?! I haven't picked an iconic new outfit yet. And should I debut my new adventuring look at the funeral?"
    "And I'm going to need a suit," said Jason.
    "Right!" Lady Aesc danced over to the controls and ran her fingers across the crystal displays. "I'll set the Factory to generate us a lovely little chapel and meanwhile, we're going shopping!"

"So how did you know Lady Aesculapius?"
    "We travelled together," said Blanche. The small talk was too small for her to bother paying attention to. Her eyes were scanning the small crowd of mourners who mingled in the pink crystal room. There was a woman in a black and purple velvet dress with a large orange afro, chatting to two women in high-ranking Centro uniforms. A lone little girl with a ponytail of light brown hair stood in the corner. At the other side of the room was a man with skin like a cactus. "Aesc certainly knew an interesting group of people."
    "Thank you very much," said Archimedes Von Ahnerabe. He gave a respectful nod of his metal head with its single black eye drawn on.
    Across the room, the walking cactus turned around and almost bumped into someone. "Ah, excuse me. I didn't see you there. My name is Coloth."
    The someone Coloth had almost bumped into had certainly dressed for the occasion. He wore a flowing crimson robe with an absurdly high collar and elegant gold embroidery all around it. Underneath the robe was a dark grey, almost black suit with a closed collar. His hands, with fingers steepled in front of him, were hidden in black leather gloves. His dark hair was slicked back and he had a pointed goatee with light grey stripes through the edges. "Grrrrreetings, Coloth."
    Coloth, who was a cactus, felt a little awkward being seen with this weirdo. "Greetings. Are you a friend of Lady Aesculapius?"
    The corner of his lips curled into a smirk. "You might say that she and I were…acquaintancesssss of a kind."
    Coloth's wide eyes made his attempt at a smile feel insincere. "I first met her a while back. Such a terrible thing."
    A slow, theatrical chuckle escaped the man. "Yesssss. A tragedy indeeeeeed."
    Coloth opened his mouth to reply. He closed it again. Still holding an empty smile, he slowly turned and shuffled away.
    The hum of chatter dropped as the double doors were pushed open. Jason entered, wearing a tailored suit and tie. Behind him was Lady Aesculapius, dressed in a Sherlock Holmes Halloween costume, complete with Inverness cape, deerstalker hat, pipe, and magnifying glass. Jason tried to keep a sombre face as he accompanied her through the group.
    "Hi Aesc," said Graelyn.
    "Hi Grael-I MEAN, what do you mean, 'Aesc'? You must be confused; dear Ms Aesc is dead! I am her cousin. Lady…Rrrrrrraaaaaaaaesculapius."
    Graelyn lifted an eyebrow. "Your name is Lady Raesculapius?"
    "Yes," said Lady Aesculapius, looking through her magnifying glass at everyone in turn.
    "That's my outfit, you know," said Graelyn. "I bought that costume in Rogeria City on Mercury and left it in the Factory."
    "Oh yeah, you did, didn't you," Lady Aesc muttered under her breath. "My sweet cousin, Lady Aesculapius Who I Am Not, gifted it to me. I wear it here today in honour of her. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to give the eulogy. Come, Mr Jackson." With a flourish she led Jason to the front of the room while sucking on the end of her pipe. She leaned in to him and whispered, "the game is afoot."
    "Really? I thought it was agame."
    Everyone sat down as Lady Aesculapius took her position on the stage, standing next to a coffin containing her previous body. She cleared her already clear throat into the microphone. "So!" She clapped her hands together. "Here we all are!"
    Everyone stared up at her, confused as to what the vibe was.
    "We're here to celebrate the life and commemorate the death of Lady Aesculapius, dashing rogue adventurer, hero of the people, defender of Ashtzencor, saviour of the seven systems, Forbes 30 under 30 media luminary, and Ms Reality 1066." She gestured to a sash which had been draped around the bottom of the coffin with 'Ms Reality 1066' written on it. "She was tragically murdered in this very Factory of Crystal, you know." With the end of her Sherlock Holmes pipe, she made a large sweeping motion to the crystal moon around them. "I assure you the murder will be apprehended in due time."
    Jason glanced around at the people sitting next to him, looking for a reaction.
    On the lectern Lady Aesc stood behind was a small screen she was using to monitor everyone's heart rate. "But let's not worry ourselves with that. After all, Lady Aesculapius will never truly be gone. In fact, some might say from a certain point of view that she's here with us today," said Lady Aesculapius. "Lady Aesc's final body will be preserved in the Factory along with other bodies she'd been able to recover during previous deaths." She looked over at the coffin and smiled. "She had a lot of adventures in that old thing. Accompanied, as always, by her faithful friends who join us here today: Graelyn, Archimedes, Blanche, and most recently, Jason Jackson, who sources say was with her when she kicked the old bucket. We've also received a lovely message from Auteur, who couldn't be with us here today." Then under her breath, "I mean I was able to be with us here today and it's my funeral but whatever." She cleared her clear throat again. "And thank you also to the random stragglers who saw the intergalactic pan-dimensional obituary." The woman with the ginger afro bowed her head respectfully, despite being called a straggler. "If Lady Aesculapius were here right now, she'd want us all to have a good time. It's what she always tried to do. So please, have fun and get to know one another, in memory of our fallen hero."

"So the female reboot of Sherlock Holmes is TOTALLY Lady Aesculapius, right?"
    "Obviously."
    Everyone had adjourned to a room with a buffet of good food and drink to discuss the recently departed and her stirring speech about herself.
    Jason milled around the group, shaking hands with the strange assortment of people Lady Aesc knew, and continues to know. His eyes were peeled for anyone unusual, but just about everyone was. He moved through the crowd, on his way to find Lady Aesc, when he caught sight of a young girl with a ponytail.
    She was standing by herself near the food, looking around the room at everyone, but she didn't look lost. There was a confidence in her eyes. Jason believed this was the sort of little girl who would attend a funeral by herself. Perhaps she wasn't a little girl. Perhaps she was a ten thousand year old alien woman in a little girl's body. After all, she clearly knew Lady Aesc.
    Jason almost turned away and moved on. He almost didn't notice that the girl had a small bottle behind her back that she was pouring on the food.
    He blinked. Then frowned. Then, when the girl had moved on, he started forward towards the buffet.
    The crowd was suddenly frustratingly dense, and he couldn't fight his way through without making a scene. As calmly as possible he shook hands and accepted condolences. At one point a strange blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman in a black robe with an enamel hedgehog pin rushed up to him. She grabbed him firmly by the hand, leaned in so only he could hear, and whispered "for the wiki" before being swept away by another woman with green eyes and freckles who was trying very hard not to be noticed.
    "Mr Jackson!"
    Jason turned to see married Centro captains Rita Andros and Jessica Zhane. "Oh!" He was torn between genuine pleasant surprise and needed to get to the buffet. "Glad you two could make it."
    "Well, we knew how close you were with Lady Aesculapius," said Captain Zhane. "And we've both been comparing notes about our adventures with her, right babe?"
    "Even though we only met her once each, we're going to miss that strange woman too," nodded Captain Andros. "Sorry for your loss."
    "Thank you," said Jason. "It feels weird. Knowing that…even if I did, say, meet someone who was just like her, she might never be exactly like her, you know. The Lady Aesculapius I knew was…unique. Best friend I ever had. No offence," he added quickly.
    "None taken of course," said Andros.
    "Jason!" Lady Aesc beckoned him with a frantic gesture.
    "Ooh, sorry, have to quickly go and see to this." In the corner of the room, Jason approached Lady Aesc. "I think I know who the murderer is."
    "Elementary, my dear Jackson."
    "Come again?"
    "I think I do too. There's just one more thing I need to check…"
    "Well first we need to go by the buffet table so I can dispose of some poisoned scotch eggs."
    The man in the long crimson robes peered out from behind one of the room's crystal pillars. He stroked his goatee and smirked as he watched Lady Aesc and Jason sneak out of the wake.
    They ran up the spiral steps to the Factory's main control tower. There, the parcel that killed Lady Aesc was sitting on the floor behind one of the terminals. She placed it on a flat platform in the corner of the control room and a bright light scanned it from bottom to top. Then she did the same with one of the invitations. The terminal flashed from pale blue to bright green. "I knew it. Different DNA. Different body."
    "Meaning…" Jason prompted.
    Lady Aesc turned to him with a smile. "Meaning I'm not the only one who's cheated death recently."
    The two of them stormed back into the wake and Lady Aesc tapped a small spoon against a wine glass (filled with Ribena). "My esteemed guests. It would appear the purpose of this meeting has been fulfilled, and it is now time for me to reveal my true identity. I'm-"
    "Lady Aesculapius," said everyone at varying levels of volume but with equal amounts of conviction.
            Lady Aesculapius sulked. "Oh. Well, whatever. Tis I!" With a flourish she threw off her Sherlock Holmes Inverness cape to reveal her new adventuring look: black biker boots, checked trousers, a large belt, a garish floral shirt, and a grey tweed coat with a colourful enamel hedgehog pin on her lapel. "I'm Lady Aesculapius, and I'm here to solve my own murder."
    Everyone who knew her instinctively backed up to give her pacing room.
    "A few points of interest struck me as…interesting." She reached the end of the room and turned on her heels. "First of all, the package I opened which release-eth-ed the bullet that killed me had to have been placed there by someone who got in and out of my Factory in a split second without me noticing. Possibly even…someone with a Factory of their own? Who might have just, oh I don't know, opened a portal into my Factory and shoved the parcel through?"
    "Like the way you delivered our invitations!" said Blanche, who received two finger guns in response.
    "Second of all, I couldn't identify the DNA print on the parcel when I first scanned it. T'was a print this Factory didn't recognise, but whoever killed me MUST have been someone I'd come into contact with before who was deliberately targeting me. Therefore…whoever did it has recently had their DNA changed. They have themselves a whole new body. So, to make the confirmed conclusion of this evidence evident, someone with a new body plus someone who owns their own Factory of Crystal means we're looking for one of my fellow Firmament. All the humans in the room? You're safe."
    The humans all exhaled.
    "Oh, and the ulk-ra present is safe too. You're a shape-shifter, Coloth, but you're one of the good ones."
    The cactus-skinned man smiled and relaxed.
    "Which leaves us only one option really," said Lady Aesc, turning to the crowd. "Who among us is a Firmament? Who among us would be such a Debbie Downer as to commit murder? And who among us," she turned very pointedly to the crowd. "Is always killing me to teach me a lesson?"
    Silence. Nobody dared breathe. Jason waited for something to happen.
    Lady Aesc looked around. "Shit, where is she. Where'd she go? Professor Meistras? The woman with the big ginger afro."
    Graelyn and Arch parted ways to reveal the woman with the big ginger afro standing behind them.
    "THERE she is, thank fuck." Lady Aesc stepped forward with her hands in her pockets. "Hello Professor Meistras. New body, new gender, same old nutter."
            "You always were a disappointing student," she said, with a wicked smile.
    "No, that's not right," said Jason. "I guessed the little girl. She was pouring stuff on the food!"
    The woman looked at the girl with raised eyebrows. "Ofelia, what have you been up to?"
    "It was just water," she said, stepping out of the crowd. "I noticed budget Poe Dameron was staring at me so I thought I'd freak him out."
    The woman smirked. "We're leaving." She took the little girl by the hand and lifted a small crystal ball.
            "Before you do," said Lady Aesc. "Can't you at least tell me why you did it? If you're trying to teach me a lesson, don't you want to deliver the lesson?"
            Professor Meistras opened her portal and ushered Ofelia through it. "You were getting too close to something you don't understand."
            "The universe that destroys other universes?" asked Jason. "That's what we were investigating when you sent the parcel. What do you know about it?"
            "I know you need to stay away from the Utopia Dimension. Get too close and it'll kill you," she snapped.
            "YOU killed me," said Lady Aesc, arms folded.
            "I meant permanently. My dear student. Don't go poking your nose into matters that don't concern you."
            "I see. If it's not on the syllabus it's not worth thinking about," said Lady Aesc. "Spoken like a teacher."
            Professor Meistras had a smile on her face when she stepped through the portal and vanished.
 
"Pineapple on pizza though?" said Blanche.
            Jason pulled a face of pantomime offence. "What's wrong with it?"
            "Most things," said Arch. "And I don't even eat solids."
            Lady Aesculapius and her friends sat around the buffet table, sharing their stories and filling their plates.
            "I approve of your new assistant," said Graelyn, gesturing to Jason. "He's fun."
            "Yeah, he is," said Lady Aesc. "You meet some nice people through this whole 'eternal wanderer through an endless cosmos' lark. And some interesting enemies."
            The man with the pointed goatee and crimson robe sidled up to Lady Aesculapius. "My lady, may I interest you in some…pizza?" he asked with a smile that said 'this is probably poisoned'.
            "Sure, thanks Steve!" Lady Aesc smiled as she took a slice.
            Graelyn watched Steve go, his leather-gloved hands clasped behind his back. "That woman. Professor Meistras. What did Jason mean when he said 'the universe that destroys other universes'?" asked Graelyn.
            "I imagine that's 'the Utopia Dimension'. It's this thing we discovered on one of our travels right before I died," said Lady Aesc, happily eating her pineapple pizza like a rational person. "One universe developed a device that wiped out another. There's nothing I could do to stop it."
            Graelyn was sombre for the first time since arriving at this funeral. "I don't suppose there's anything we can do, is there? Infinite universes. Statistically speaking, some of them have to be ending each other."
            "Right. But Meistras wanted me to stop investigating, which means there's more to it than a random act of probability."
            Graelyn was silent in thought for a moment. "Still. Good funeral."
            "Thank you! Ooh, Jason, that reminds me, we'll need to fire off some un-obituaries to let everyone know it was just a gag."
            "Sure," said Jason. "That'll go over well."
            Lady Aesc relaxed a little. Mystery solved, her friends all gathered. "This was fun. I don't just mean 'this'," she gestured wildly around herself. "I mean that whole life. That was a good body."
            "To the late Lady Aesculapius!" said Jason.
            Everyone around the table, people of different species from multiple different realities, raised their glasses and voices. "To the late Lady Aesculapius!"

​

NEXT TIME ON LADY AESCULAPIUS....

Episode 6: SIXTY THOUSAND BEDTIME STORIES, by Tori Das

“Consider the Man on the Moon. What do you think he's doing up there right now?"

There is a city-ship, forever circling the seas of an ocean planet. And, at the bottom of that ship, lies Ninety-One, a slum filled with toxic fumes, poverty and children left to their own devices.

Thankfully, a wonderful woman climbs down from the skies every night, to go visit those lonely souls, telling them stories to sooth them into sleep. And the ship sails on …

Until the day, of course, where the children start disappearing. 







Lady Aesculapius Series 1 is part of 10,000 Dawns, and is a publication of Arcbeatle Press.
Lady Aesculapius was created by James Wylder.
All characters from other creators used or referenced in this story have been used with permission or license. Coloth has been used with permission by Simon Bucher-Jones and Nate Bumber, Auteur has been referenced with permission from Jacob Black.
All original elements to this story are the property of the author.
All rights Reserved, Arcbeatle Press 2019.
Our cover art is by Anne-Laure Tuduri.

Any resemblance between persons living or dead, fictional characters, and real or fictional events is either co-incidental or has been done within the bounds of parody and/or satire. 

​

Welcome back to Lady Aesculapius! Now that Jason and Lady Aesc have reunited, it's time for the adventures to begin! But first, a vacation. 

If you need to catch up, you can find the previous episodes HERE.

If you want to listen to these stories, you can find links to our podcast version HERE, though note that it runs a little bit behind the text versions!

Alright, let's get going! -James

​Jason sat on the control tower's balcony, trying his hardest not to look up. Below was the stunning crystal scenery of the Factory, the mountains and ravines that glittered and shone with a blue light from deep underground. Above was nothing. Dark empty space, with no stars and only one shade of black.
The Factory hung silently in space, the only thing in this universe after it had been violently ended.
Nothing was exactly what Jason needed right now. Time to think. No pressure. Nobody to be brave for.
He looked out over the amazing view. He sat forward in his seat.
Something was moving out there.
A dark shape, tiny from where he was sitting, but definitely moving against the pale blue landscape.
The thought briefly occurred to Jason to remove the brass spyglass from the coat of his recently deceased friend. Not that he wanted to do it, but the thought did occur to him, and he was sickened by it. Lady Aesc would've used the spyglass right now.
The dark shape kept moving, coming straight towards him, or at least towards the tower. As it got closer, Jason thought he could make out a pair of arms, but no legs - just a flowing mass. Occasionally it stopped like it was thinking, then kept on going.
Jason was hypnotised by the shape. Then he watched it for so long he overcame the shock and started to get kinda impatient. Then he realised exactly how long it'd take to reach him at its current speed.
A few minutes passed before he could clearly see it was a person. They were wearing a dark flowing robe, and every time they stopped they doubled over to catch their breath.
Jason was leaning his elbow on the crystal railing, holding his head up with his palm. Gee, whoever that is sure wanted to see him. Still going. Look at them go.
Eventually, after far too long, they arrived at the base of the tower. They passed underneath the balcony and Jason waited. He realised then it'd take at least 10 minutes for them to reach the top. With a heave, he pushed himself up and walked from the balcony to the main control room. Might as well get a weapon ready. He whistled a little tune to himself as he charged his Centro standard-issue sidearm and pointed it at the doors, waiting for them to burst open.
He waited. And waited.
He leaned a little on the control panel next to him. His arm was getting sore. Might as well put the gun down.
A few minutes later, the door burst open. "JASON JACKSON!" bellowed the beaming woman.
Jason was sitting cross-legged on the floor and jumped to his feet. "Uh, yeah?"
"It's me! Lady Aesculapius, Firmaments can change bodies and this is my new body and we first met on a Centro shipyard when you were wearing a shirt that said 'ace pilot' and then we met again in a weird temple floating through space and I'm literally the same person so let's not angst over this, it's just a new face, honestly calm the hell down. Do you hear me Jason?! CALM DOWN!"
Lady Aesc was now leaning over Jason, who was bent backwards over one of the terminals, eyes wide. "You're...what?"
"Lady Aesc," she said again, taking time to breathe. "It's me."
Jason stood up straight and examined the woman in front of him. She looked nothing like the body in the corner of the room. He searched her face for any flicker of familiarity, until his gaze rested on a small enamel pin of a hedgehog on her otherwise formal robe. The same animal on the body's scarf. Jason looked up at her. "How can it be you?"
"I told you Firmaments had a little quirk, didn't I?"
He smiled. "Yes you did, Lady Aesc."
"I'm sorry for scaring you. I should've explained myself better."
Jason was too relieved to care. "It's fine."
"No it is not, mister!" Lady Aesc danced over to the controls of her Foce. "I'm going to make it up to you. Also, I've been stuck on my home planet for way too long. We both need a holiday!"
"Holiday? Are you sure, can we not just...relax for a second?"
"This WILL be relaxing, silly! Honestly, I promise, it'll be the most peaceful holiday ever."

Jason was first to emerge from the portal. "Oh. The face changed in the title sequence."
"New Aesc, new adventures," she said, closing the portal behind her and pocketing the now tennis ball-sized Factory of Crystal. "Not right now though. Right now, relaxation. Behold!"
She threw out her arms and welcomed Jason to a bright pink beach with a deep blue cloudless sky.
Jason looked around. "Ooh, everything here looks very...loud."
"This is Pastellion Major. Big shield around the whole planet controlling the atmosphere, gives everything a nice tint. They film loads of music videos here."
"They?"
Jason was suddenly aware of a clicking noise coming from his left. A small family of bright orange crab people (part-crab, part-people) walked sideways across his field of view on the way to the water. Jason kept his eyes fixed ahead so as not to stare. "Well, okay then."
"They do films here too," said Lady Aesc, already walking towards some white buildings in the distance. "They did the 8742nd remake of The Little Mermaid on this beach. Oh, and last month they were filming The Justice League vs. Starro. Let's get something cool to drink from the stand."
The perfect cool wind swept through the palm trees, perfectly directed by the atmospheric shield for maximum comfort. If Jason and Lady Aesc had been watching the trees more closely, they might have seen another movement; a dark figure watching the two of them and darting out of view.
Drinks in hand, they made their way to the beach and took their places on the deck chairs, which rose from the pink sand to greet them. "So," said Jason, laying back but with his head twisted to face the new Lady Aesc.
"So," she replied.
"New face."
"Like it?"
Jason wasn't sure how to respond. "It's...yeah, fine. Good! Terrific. Well done. Nice face. Different."
The new face smiled. "Good. How long was I away for?"
"I...honestly don't know," said Jason. "Wasn't keeping track of time. No stars or anything in that empty dimension to keep an eye on. A few hours maybe?"
"Damn. Well I'm sorry for scaring you like that."
Jason looked out over the calm blue water. "You don't need to apologise for dying. This is really more your holiday than it is mine. Your death is the one day you get to be selfish. Deaths and birthdays."
Lady Aesc nodded. "Deaths and births. Kinda the same thing to a Firmament."
A deep BOOM echoed from above. The crab people, Lady Aesc, and Jason all looked up.
"Thunder?" asked Jason, hopefully.
"No...the planetary shield is supposed to keep unwanted weather out."
For a single second, Jason thought he was going to pass out. He was witnessing a sight arguably more surreal than a dimension with no stars. The sky cracked open.
"MOVE."
Lady Aesc shoved Jason out of the way as a dark hole in the deep blue sky ripped open and from it bellowed a blast of flame that roasted both of their chairs.
They scrambled to their feet and stared at the pillar of flame as the beach around them emptied, everyone running for cover.
Another BOOM. The sky closed and the pillar stopped.
There was stunned silence for a moment before a crab person burst sideways out of one of the white buildings and scrambled towards them. "Don't worry everyone! Don't worry! Small technical fault with the planetary shielding there, all fine now!"
"All fine?!" said an angry crab dad accompanied by his angry crab wife and scared crab children. "Those two over there," he gestured to Lady Aesc and Jason "were almost burned alive! The hole opened right above them!"
"And they will be compensated!" explained the crab, clicking nervously.
Jason approached the scorched circle of sand. "That was SO direct. An exact circle over where we were sitting."
"HELLO THERE," shouted Lady Aesc, pointing into the trees. "We can see you!"
All heads turned to the shadowy figure watching the chaos. As soon as they were noticed they swore, backed away, and disappeared in a green flash.
"Gee," said Lady Aesc. "That sure wasn't suspicious."
"Who was that?" asked Jason.
"Never mind. You know which 'who' I want to know about?" asked the crab dad, raising his voice. "Your manager!" He stabbed a claw at the staff member as his wife patted him on the back as if to say 'I'm sure it sounded better in your head, sweetie'.
"Maybe we should zap out of here too," said Lady Aesc.
"I don't know," said Jason. "Someone needs to make sure nobody gets hurt."
"Our crab friends are on it, and paperwork isn't very relaxing. Shall we?" Lady Aesc lifted the Foce from her pocket and opened a new portal.
Jason shrugged. "Sure."


* * *


“You have to admire the sheer audacity of the construction, whatever your views about the personal life of its subject,” Lady Aesculapius quoted from the 21th Century guide book, they’d picked up from the second-hand stall.
Jason only grunted, he was – unlike her – a bit puffed from the long climb up the shoulder blade of THE SALUTING COLOSSUS. The wind, carefully generated by a flock of weather-drones to ruffle the hair of tourists without stripping them off the gravi-strip that ran up the statue’s flank and spine, wicked away the sweat from his striped early 22nd century sports shirt, leaving it as pristine as nanofiber could be. Just as long as it never encountered sweat with the same potassium/sodium ratio and PH as sea-water, which would make all its nano-hooks unlatch and it fall harmlessly apart.
The view he had to admit was worth it.
The long sweep of the orbital habitat – one of the oldest of the O’Neill Colonies, put up by the US in 1994, twenty years after the concept was first proposed by the physicist and his Princeton University students – ran down from the statue of the President who had kicked off the project, at the North Hub – a wrap-around cylinder of farmland spinning in a vision never achievable on a planet.
The holiday was going well. There were all sorts of things they could get up to on an O’Neill Cylinder. Near the centre rotational gravity was minimal, it was possible to fly with artificial wings, or a stage below with pedal helicopter bicycles. Life-guard balloon drones stopped people falling into the ground above and below them.
It was just about then, metaphysically speaking, that the Time Traveller rang up some reporters about the break in at the Watergate Hotel.




* * *


“So focused on improving the output of Meliflorae’s hives, you’ve missed that your drought prevention team’s decades of work are founded on a maths error so horrible it has to be sabotage. Not that your morphic flare didn’t work, not that it didn’t reverse a genetic polarity of this planet’s ecosystem, but it wasn't the one you wanted.” She gestured her whisk beyond the shadow of the giant petrified flower in which the laboratory was carved, to the basalt-baklava beach, to an ocean of sweet amber waves that slugged under thickly orange clouds. To the tiniest sliver of a hydrological cycle beginning in waxy seafloor hexagons and ending on pieces of toast the galaxy over. “Every honey molecule within a 100 yonks radius is about to parthenogestate a twelfth of a teaspoon of bees.”
Elsewhere, having finally wrangled on the syrup-snorkel, Jason concluded scubasuit designers of this universe were unaware of curly hair. Then he started worrying if local physics permitted sugar to conduct lightning. The weather looked nicely golden moments ago, but now came the deep rumble of stormclouds, almost a low buzz.
“No,” Aesc announced her return in a single breath. Jason nearly asked how her exploration went, but- “No.” An oddly solid pitter-patter; he instinctively looked outside to an oddly darkening sea before he was pulled back. “No.” An uneasiness in the saturated air, the nectar-perfume giving something like butterflies in his stomach… but with smaller, sharper wings. “What’s happen-” “If I was forced to choose a commemorative pun T-shirt for you for the vacation here we’re definitely not going to have, it’d probably be ‘I’m not interested in Hitchcock’s The Birds or The Bees’.”
Chitin coursed through honeyed clouds, rain, and ocean alike like an intricate shatter through glass. But they were already gone.


* * *




Lady Aesculapius stepped through the portal with a grin on her face. She looked back waiting for Jason to follow.
“What do you think?” she asked as soon as he’d stepped through.
Jason looked at the fairly average city street before him. An equal number of people were bustling about as were moseying. What looked to be early model hover cars quietly zoomed along the road.
“We’ve gone back I time and to a different universe,” he observed, noting the masonry in the buildings across the street was tinged a burnt orange colour. Otherwise the cityscape seemed unremarkable.
“Are we here for pastry?” Jason asked. He still never knew what to expect from Lady Aesc’s trips and the Cookie Crumble bakery across the street had a line stretching out the door. Jason wasn’t hungry but if Lady Aesculapius wanted pastry he’d happily indulge too. They’d probably be good pastries if she had brought them here just to try them. Jason re-evaluated his level of hunger warming to the idea of fresh fruity pastry.
The grin dropped from Lady Aesc’s face as she turned to look at the bakery. “No, that place is... not so great. The best bakery is Miss Ruby’s three universes and a few planets to the left and right respectively.”
She twirled her finger in the air and pointed behind him. “You’re facing the wrong way. My fault, I didn’t orient the portal properly.”
Jason turned around.
They stood in front of a park. The lavender grass looked soft and inviting. Huge trees with dark blue trunks and leaves ranging from bright red to deep purple shaded the grass and promised leisurely strolls for any who cared to take them.
“Picnic in the park then?” Jason asked following as Lady Aesc headed for a cobbled path through the park.
“I was off by a little more than I thought,” Lady Aesc confessed. “It’s just through here.”
A short walk later and the park opened up to reveal a huge old building of the same burnt orange masonry he’d seen before. Jason’s eyes skipped over the statues and pillars and went straight to the words ornately carved into the face of the building: The Museum of Unnatural History.
Jason slowly turned to face Lady Aesculapius who was grinning again. He was so curious to find out what sort of unnatural things would be in the museum he picked up the pace and prepared to take the stairs two at a time.
Behind him Lady Aesculapius said, “well darn. He’s found us again. Thought we’d have more time.”
In front of Jason a white portal sprang open and instead of taking a big step up onto the stairs he stumbled ungracefully back into the command centre of the Factory of Crystal.



* * *


“Blue like which sky?” Jason asked. The sky was filled with a fluorescent pink hue, punctuated only by the wispy clouds zipping past overhead. They cast strange rippling shadows on the sand.
“Oh, you know what I mean,” Aesc said, giving him a playful push. “Although I expected it to be a little more busy.”
The beach was empty of vacationers. The only signs of any tourism were a few abandoned umbrellas dotting the shore and a small hut just north of the jungle trail.


“Oh! They’re probably all inside for lunch. I’ve heard the yellow jelly is to die for!”
The only person inside was a man behind the counter, packing up cups into a sandwood box. As he saw them his face stretched into a wide smile: his nose and chin jutted a full half meter out from his face, long lips curling down the entire length. It reminded Jason of a crocodile.
“Welcome and thank you!” the bartender called out. “So sorry for your timing.”
“Do we have bad timing?” Aesc asked.
The man’s smile switched to an “Oh” expression. He sympathetically explained, “One week ago, many billion wild butterflies were unexpectedly imported to the opposite coast.”
Jason’s eyebrows raised. “Butterflies?”
A webbed hand gestured at the display hovering above the bar. “You know what they say about the flapping of their wings…”
Jason could barely make out the shape of the coast on the map. It was covered by fourteen continent-sized typhoons and their accompanying bands of swirling storms.
Aesc squinted at it with a frown. “How long do you expect the weather to last?”
“Should clear up in a few decades.” He shrugged and plopped a few more cups into the bin. “But come again then!”
The two travellers stood on the sand and watched the clouds towering over the horizon. Aesc raised the hood of her robe, hiding her face. “Come on, Jason. We’ll find our vacation elsewhere.”


* * *




“Well, this has been disappointing,” Jason muttered, and Aesc’s flew into motion, picking up objects around the control room, and then stopped.
“I know! You’re a pilot! You could fly the Foce!”
Jason raised his eyebrows, “I mean, I wouldn’t say no…”
“Pilot!” Aesc shouted, “Give Jason piloting rights!”
“As you wish, Aesc,” the ship said, with an audible sigh.






* * *


During the early days of Centro Systems ascendancy, one of their many business ventures was the procurement of luxury pet cats for Earth’s upper classes. But as humanity’s reach expanded beyond its home planet, so too did its demand for cats, and so Centro took this venture to its obvious conclusion: an entire planet devoted solely to the breeding of cats. They chose the planet PSR428-511c, which soon became known colloquially as simply “The Cat Planet.” An ideal vacation spot, thought Jason.
A high-pitched whining sound grew in intensity as the ship approached the planet, and Jason feared that it might be coming from the engines, and that it would wake Lady Aesculapius, who slept peacefully in the cabin. He slowed his descent as the craft slowly broke through the planet’s cloud cover, and he was greeted with the sight of a vast ocean, a roiling, glittering mass of pink and gray, dotted with millions of pinpricks of light, stretching beyond the horizon. For a moment he believed he’d miscalculated and arrived in the wrong place, until a colossal, heaving wave stretched itself toward the belly of the ship, and he could see that the sparkles of the waves were millions of tiny, almond-shaped pinpricks of light, all gazing up at him, with an expression that could only be described as hunger.
“Just...turn around.”
“Why, sir?”
“DRIVE!”




* * *






As Lady Aesculapius made her way to the water, she glanced back to Jason as he was getting some sun, “Well, maybe seventh times the charm. I hope we can finally get some beach time, all these rude interruptions have been a drag.”
Jason answered without looking at her, “Don’t jinx it Lady Aesc. As soon as you admit it to the universe, that’s asking for trouble.”
“Don’t be silly Jason, that only happens in stories.” she said as a giant Ghentharian space cruiser came into view. “Goddammit, not again. Jason why did you have to be right about that?”
“What’s coming now?’ Jason asked, lifting up his sunglasses.
“The Queen of Death really is a stickler for no one escaping her tower.” Lady Aesculapius pulled out her crystal ball, “Well, we better get going, can’t have her finding us while we’re on vacation.”
“Don’t you think we ought to stop her?” Jason asked.
“No, as long as we leave, she’ll leave well enough alone. If we leave she won’t have a reason to be here. Now come along Jason.” she said as she pulled up a portal.




* * *




Lady Aesc was still pulling the sardines out of her hair as they landed on the surface of the Factory of Crystal. Jason had one perched in his ear like a stylus, but he’d given up on removing all of them for the moment.
“Okay! Next one will be the charm, I’m sure of it!” She was rushing to the control room, since, you know, they had actually dropped inconveniently a hundred yards away from it. “We’ll go to the Glitter Gardens of the Great Assimilation! Change into clothes you don’t mind being shiny forever though-”
“Aesc?”
“We really don’t need to go on a vacation.”
She stopped, sliding to a halt and turning as she slid like a badly animated cartoon, “Don’t...need a vacation?”
“No, I mean,” he took a breath, “You died and that was rough, and I was confused but, you’re here now. How about we just watch a good movie. You know, one of the old classics my dad used to show me back in the 2400’s I’m from.”
Aesc nodded, “No, I’m sorry, I got carried away. I think I know what movie you’re thinking of, of course.”
“A Cure For Wellness,” Lady Aesc said.
“Cinderella III: A Twist in Time,” Jason said mostly over what Aesc said.
“Oh,” Aesc said.
“So, not actually thinking of the same thing.”
“Double feature!”
“Wait--actually, maybe we should go on an adventure? Someone was obviously ruining our vacations, right? Like that doesn’t just happen, there was clearly a shadowy figure we could see several times during all of that.”
“Oh yeah,” Aesc thought aloud, “I do remember seeing one, I just thought my shadow escaped again or something. Well that’s awkward. How dare they ruin our vacation...s.” Aesc resumed jogging back to the control room, and the two slipped in
“How are we going to find them? Are you going to use the Quantum Whisk?”
“Of course! It can find things! Sort of! I think!” Aesc ran over to her own corpse, where she had put the whisk back with repeatedly on their holiday, and pulled the whisk out of a pocket. Jason made a slow high pitched “ehhh” through the whole process, “There I go! Knew I’d have it with me.”
She lowered the Quantum Whisk to her side. A breeze blew her robe gently, and she narrowed her eyes, whipping the whisk up so it was lined up perfectly with her face, the lighting making one half of her face cloaked in shadow. She walked up to the control panel, a guitar riff playing from...somewhere, and awkwardly shoved the whisk at the control panels, trying to find a nook it fit into but just ending up making springy metallic sounds.
“Huh,” Aesc said. “I don’t think is going to work.”
“Are you sure that’s not just a whisk?” Jason said cautiously.
“Nope!” Aesc said cheerily. “But I think I know what we should do next anyway. If someone is destroying our vacations, we just go to the next vacation spot we’d planned to go to, but land in the most obvious place you’d go to sabotage it instead of the fun part!”
Jason nodded his head back and forth, “Yeah, that makes sense.”
Lady Aesc reached for the controls, but then shrugged and said, “Hey Pilot, do the thing and make us go to the place.”
“Righto,” the Pilot said.
“Thanks Phil,” Jason said.
“...Who is Phil?” Aesc asked a bit confused.




* * *




The Time Traveller checked his watch. Hmn, Aesc was late. Or maybe his watch was off. “Why are you using a watch anyways?” his mother always used to say, “You have a phone! That’s where a normal person checks the time!” but he’d kept using the watch. Not that watches were uncommon--but they were technological things that synched with your brain waves and checked your pulse and did palm readings. This was pure clockwork, and possibly up to fifteen minutes off.
He was still sitting waiting at the air system controls waiting to destroy Aesc’s vacation, when a crystal orb shot through the window, bonked him on his helmeted forehead so hard he was thrown out of his chair, and looked up to see Lady Aesculapius and Jason standing in front of him.
Trying to right himself, he began a maniacal laugh, "So you found me after all, Lady Aesc. You may have caught me, but the worst is yet to come!"
Aesc and Jason looked at each other puzzled.
"Worse than...dying forever after all my bodies were destroyed?" Aesc asked.
"Wait worse than what--" Jason sputtered.
Aesc gave a shy smile as the time traveler dusted himself off. He was decked head to toe in black body armor. "Now hold up that can't be right I had very clear instructions about this. I was supposed to ruin your vacations before the assassination. Don't tell me they worked ahead of schedule?"
Aesc crossed her arms, "Are you sure you just didn't get the date wrong?"
"I'm sure! I'm a professional terrorist assassin cult member, I don't take my job lightly."
"Then you wouldn't mind checking?"
He held himself straight, "of course not!" He pulled a tablet from his armor and began scrolling through it, "see it says right here that--oh dear."
"You got the date wrong."
"Maybe."
"Saying it helps we can all say it together!"
"I got the date wrong," all three said in unison.
“Oh geez this is...pretty embarrassing…” the time traveller shuffled his feet, “So uh, wow. This is just so unprofessional. Look, when I ruin people’s lives, I hold myself to a high standard--and this not the level of quality Dusk implements!”
Aesc and Jason exchanged a glance, “Oh uh,” Aesc said, “did you miss the memo? Dusk has not only been disbanded, it retroactively never existed.”
A long silence fell between them, and the time traveller took off his helmet to reveal a man with light brown skin, curly hair, a lip ring, and a confused expression, “That would explain why no one has been complimenting my reports…”
“Oh you’re alright, I mean, you’re not alright I’ve had a pretty awful day, but my girlfriend was a Dusk member before it never existed--”
“--Wait, who is it? Maybe we know each other?”
“Blanche!”
He threw his hands up, “We went through basic murder training together!”
“What a small multiverse!”
“...Oh geez, I just ruined Blanche’s girlfriend's vacations.”
“Yeah, maybe you’ll want to go fix all the trouble you’ve caused. So we’ll let you go under two conditions, one: you fix all of your mess and then check into a facility to get help, since, you know, you were in a space-time cult.”
He held both hands up, “I will! I promise! I’ll pinkie promise.”
Jason held out his Pinkie finger, and Aesc did to, and the time traveller awkwardly linked his pinkies with theirs. After they’d pinkie promised, Aesc continued: “And two...you tell us who hired you.”
“They didn’t give me their name,” he replied. “But they told me they were working for--” “The Utopia Dimension?” Jason asked.
“Jason, let the man finish!”
“No, that’s it. RIght well, time to start by fixing what I did to the machinery here.”
Jason nudged Aesc in the ribs, “Are we really going to just let him go?”
“I’ll be keeping track of him, if he doesn't check into a facility to rehabilitate himself I’ll throw him into a sun or something.”
Jason’s eyes went wide, “Youd...what?”
She laughed, “I’m only kidding, throwing people into suns is far to inconvenient. Honestly, it’s just a hassle. Pilot? Get us out of here.”
The Foce swooped over, and in a flash they seemed to get sucked into the orb, shrinking down as they did so.


Jason and Aesc returned to the control room, and Aesc put her hand on her chin, “Hmn, well now that that’s fixed, we could finally take our vacation.”
Jason shook his head, “I think I’m all holidayed out, honestly. And...what ever is going on with the Utopia dimension it’s really worrying me, Aesc. They killed you. We should search them out.”
Both of their eyes went to her lifeless corpse.
“Oh right,” she said, “maybe I should clean that up.”

Lady Aesc’s magic trick hadn’t happened yet. 

If it was going to happen at all.

“No, can’t think like that,” Jason muttered. He wiped tears from his eyes. Lady Aesc was a corpse on the ground, despite what she’d said about magic tricks. He kept expecting for her eyes to open and flash with mischief, for her to grab his hand and pull him through another portal, for them to save more people and solve more problems. But she was...there, on the floor, unreachable, and he...well, he was alone in the Foce. 

He didn’t even know how Lady Aesc’s frankly brilliant ship worked. Magic, probably. Which meant he was stuck here doing nothing when there was somebody out there ripping up dimensions and realities. All that training, no outlet for it, and he’d probably starve to death, to boot.

Jason stretched out his hand, touched the decking. He was definitely still in the ship, yes. At his touch, something rippled or stretched or yawned, and he was struck by the image of Lady Aesc’s smiling face, followed by her name.

​

Seemed like some things didn’t change with death. Even the moon knew that she wasn’t here.

Still, it was enough to shake Jason from his mild stupor. He pulled himself to his feet. “I wonder if I can fly this thing.”

“Nope,” said a voice.

Jason looked around wildly. Who said that? Where was it coming from? It wasn’t Lady Aesc-- “What?”

“You are not an authorized pilot of this moon,” the voice said.

“Who’s talking?”

“I’m the computer.”

“The computer on the Foce is sentient?”

“Or just a really good AI. Theories vary.”

“But if I’m not an authorized pilot, why talk to me?”

“To tell you that you’re not an authorized pilot. Obviously.”

“Very helpful.” Jason paced the room, wishing he had something to cover Lady Aesc with. It wasn’t right to just leave her lying on the cold floor, all sprawled out in death.

“There is something I need you to check out, though,” the computer said.

“Oh, you need my help?”

“Yes, you’ve got legs,” the computer snarked. “Some of my sensors and cameras have gone offline, and I have a guess that it’s caused by the dimensional ripples you and Lady Aesc encountered. I can’t move us until I know that it’s safe to do so, and I can’t know that until I get a titan to fix the problem, but I can’t do that until I know what the problem is. So I need you to check.”

Only some of those words made sense and none of it sounded appealing. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Then we’re stuck here and will probably die just like that planet we just watched get ripped apart. Shortly followed by the rest of the universe. This isn’t about you, Jason Jackson.”

“But she’s dead,” Jason said, willing the tears to not start up again.

“It’s temporary.”

“Doesn’t seem temporary to me.”

“That’s because you’re human. Look, I need your help.”

“Fine. Where do I need to go?

A door on the far wall slid open. “Head that way, cut through the library, and turn left past the kitchen. If you’re hungry, stop for a snack.”

“I thought this was time-sensitive,” Jason said as he headed through the door.

“I travel in time and space, Jason, I’ve got all the time in the universe,” the computer answered.
---

Jason had wandered the corridors for what felt like hours but probably wasn’t until he found the library. It was a huge place, shimmering with watery light filtering through the crystal roof. Rainbows darted across the floor like schools of fish, and Jason had a brief feeling of being deep underwater. Even though he knew he wasn’t.

He went to stand near a window. Stretched before him was an entire field of tiny crystal spires that gave off the impression of being like grass. Out in the distance, creatures lumbered.

“Those are the crystal titans.”

Jason jumped, looking behind him and side to side. It didn’t sound like Lady Aesc--

Oh, the computer. Again. 

“Crystal titans. Okay. And they do maintenance?”

“Yep. But I can’t tell them to fix things unless I know what it is they need to fix.”

Jason passed a shelf of books labeled ‘Burned Books’, catching a distinct whiff of bonfire as he went by. “What sort of library is this?”

“A crystal one.”

“I got that, computer. Everything here’s made out of crystal. What kind of books are here?”

“Oh, all sorts. All reference. Helpful to Lady Aesc in her adventures, from time to time.”

“Not anymore,” Jason muttered.

“She’ll be back, don’t you worry,” the computer said. 

“You keep saying that,” Jason answered, “but I find it hard to believe you. Since you’re a computer and all.”

“Well, not exactly.”

“How can you be not exactly a computer?”

“I’m the Foce’s pilot, and I’m hardwired into the computer. You can call me Phil.”

“The Foce’s name is Phil?”

“No, the Foce’s pilot’s name is Phil. Although on a metaphysical level you could argue that I am the Foce.”

“How long have you been the pilot?”

“For always. It’s complicated.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“Look, Foce--”

“Phil.”

“Look, Phil, nice to meet you and all, but that doesn’t mean I believe you about Lady Aesc’s magic tricks. I didn’t see anything happen when I was in the control room. And I couldn’t stop her from dying.”

“It happens.” Jason got the distinct impression that if Phil could shrug his shoulders, if he had shoulders, then that was what he was doing. 

“It happens?”

“Well, obviously it just happened. She died. A hundred percent probability of death for that Lady Aesc. It’ll probably happen again. Lady Aesc is just...like that. Leads a dangerous life, that one. Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Jason ran a hand over his dark curls. “But she’s not here.”

“Nope.”

Phil’s cheeriness was a bit annoying.

“Can you take me home?”

“Nope.”

“And why is that?”

“You’re not an authorized user of the Factory,” Phil said. “Regulations. I go where Lady Aesc needs me to be.”

“But Lady Aesc invited me to come with her!”

“That doesn’t mean she gave you piloting rights!”

“But then what can I do? I don’t want to starve.”

“There’s food on the ship, you have a room if you want one, you just have to sit tight and check on that thing for me until Lady Aesc gets back.”

“If she gets back.”

“When she gets back. We’ve been friends for a long long time, Lady Aesc and I, and I have no doubt that she’ll be back.”

“But I saw her, plain as day, dead on the floor. I didn’t even have anything to cover her up with.” Jason refused to start crying again.

“You’re new here, I get it,” Phil said. “Don’t be such a gloomy Gus about it.”

“The name’s Jason. Jason Jackson,” Jason said.

“I know that,” Phil answered. “Don’t be such a joyless Jason about it.”

“But she’s dead.”

“Eh, it’s just temporary. Have you left the library yet?”

Jason glanced over his shoulder at the rows and rows of crystalline shelves, then back at the corridor that loomed in front of him. “Just did.”

“Okay, left. You’ll come across the kitchen, so head through it, and then I’ll give your next set of directions.”

This was turning out to be a not-so-great day.

--

The kitchen was vast, a crystal-and-chrome compendium of countertops, cabinets, and various appliances. Phil informed him that the kitchen was stocked with whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it, and all he had to do was ask.

Sure, this place was impressive, but it was empty. Silent, except for occasional asides from Phil and the soft sounds of machinery. There was nobody else here; Jason was alone.

He didn’t like that.

Jason had jumped at the chance to travel with Lady Aesc because how many times did someone get a second chance at traveling through time and space and various dimensions? How many times did someone get a second chance to jump in with both feet?

And if...if he’d gone with Lady Aesc that first time she’d asked, would she be dead now?

He trailed past a gleaming row of freezers, each neatly labeled with their contents, only some of which he recognized. Skovoxian Whiskey? Why did that need to be frozen?

“Jassson….” a voice hissed.

Not Phil, this time.

“Poor little Jason, all alone…”

“Phil, are you hearing this?”

“I can hear you loud and clear, Jason.”

“No, I mean the hissing. Can you hear the hissing?”

“Don’t go all chamber of secrets on me, Jason. I don’t detect any hissing.”

“Funny, I can hear some.”

“Why do you find that funny?”

Jason sighed. “It’s not funny, Phil. Hissing usually isn’t.”

“If you’re hissing with laughter, it’s because something was funny.”

“The hisses aren’t laughter. Unless they’re laughing at me.”

“Why would someone laugh at you?”

“Human, remember? I can’t do magic tricks, or anything remotely useful.”


“You’re checking on something for me! That’s useful.”

Then something, well, weird happened.

First, Phil said, “What?” and then “Jason, can you hear me?”

“Yes,” Jason said.

“Hold out your hand.”

Jason held out his hand.
A small crystal box materialized on his palm. “Open it,” Phil said. “It’s tech to put on your ear so I can keep communication with you specifically.”

“I’m the only person here,” Jason said as he opened the box and pulled out the tech.

“Well, about that--”

Second, the air wavered, rippled like stones had been dropped in a still pool.

Third, Jason suddenly saw himself. Lots of himself, actually. Vague ghostly men filled the corridor, some walking in step with him, as if they were echoes, others ahead, some behind, others going the opposite direction.

“So this is happening,” Phil whispered into Jason’s ear. “It’s probably due to the dimensional ripples we’re near.”

“Probably?”

“I’m a pilot, not a physicist, Jason.”

One of the men closest to Jason smacked something looking like a tricorder from a Star Trek episode. He shifted from indistinct to solid, and he grinned a rather feral grin at Jason. “Made it to your plane, have I?” he asked.

It was almost like looking into a mirror. Almost, because this new Jason was dressed in combat fatigues, definitely seemed like he had more muscles (well, defined muscles, anyway), and had an eyepatch. 

“Are you a Jason who doesn’t talk?” Muscles said. 

“No,” Jason said. “I’m a Jason who’s a bit bewildered by all this.”


Phil’s whisper: “Yeah, your vitals are VERY interesting. Circulatory systems are quite the traitors, you know.”

So Phil was providing ear snark, cool.

Muscles smirked. “You’ve never talked to yourself before? Wow, we really are different.”

“This...is different,” Jason said. “I assume your name is Jason.”

“Commander Jackson. I’m a--a scientist.” Muscles waved the tricorder-thingy as if to emphasize his point. Jason would have figured he was more a soldier than a scientist, but maybe he needed to check his preconceptions. Muscles could be both.  “I’m investigating these ripples. It’s why we’re seeing so many of us.”

“So am I,” Jason said, immediately glad that someone who seemed to know what he was doing was here. “Investigating, I mean. The pilot is having me check on an area that’s dropped off his radar. That’s where I’m headed.”

“Well, then, I should come along and help,” Muscles said.

“I wouldn’t be so quick to trust him, Jason,” a new yet familiar voice said. Up ahead of them, another Jason had solidified. This one seemed--well, Jason had the distinct impression that he’d met this Jason before. Or seen him before. Like, in person. Was he the Jason who’d said yes to Lady Aesc’s first offer? The one he’d seen with Lady Aesc?

“He’s me, yeah? Or should I say, we’re us?”

New Jason smiled, and it looked far more like the grin Jason himself sometimes wore, but it also had something else. Something more like Lady Aesc’s smile. “Each of us are individuals, Jason. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many of us. Our circumstances, and then our choices in those circumstances, are what make us ourselves.”

This made a lot of sense, so Jason caught up with Aesc!Jason.

Muscles followed, scowling. “And how do we know that we can trust this fella?”

“Oh, you should definitely not trust me,” Aesc!Jason said. “I’m capable of anything, in a pinch.”

“Oh, and what would you do if you were on the lead ship of the fleet, facing down the Pubbies as they launched an attack against you?”


“I’d get the hell out of there,” Aesc!Jason said, “and get everyone I could off the ship before it blew.”

“Coward,” Muscles said.

Aesc!Jason just smiled. “Any day.”

“Annnnyway,” Jason said. “Headed this way. You’re both free to come along.”

“I already said I’d come,” Muscles said.

“Always up for an adventure,” Aesc!Jason said, though his tone also seemed to imply ‘And I’m gonna keep an eye on Mr. Eyepatch over there’ but that could just be Jason’s imagination.
Listening to Phil’s whispered instructions, Jason led his doppelgangers to an area that needed investigating. “So there’s a lot of fancy machinery in here,” Jason said. “Made of crystal, of course. There’s black goop over the thing that looks like a control panel of some sort.”

“Crystal’s good for timing,” came Phil’s response as Muscles muttered something about ‘audibly describing the scene’. “I think I know what room that is, it’s an auxiliary engine access point. You can head back to the control room, now.”

Jason repeated that for the benefit of everyone in the room.

Aesc!Jason nodded. “Yeah, Phil can get the titans to clean this place up.”

“We’re not going back to the control room,” Muscles said. 

Aesc!Jason smiled.

“But Phil said--” Jason said.

Commander Jackson swore. “No, we’re not. I’m going to take that--” he pointed a spinning crystal gear that looked vaguely like what Jason imagined the Foce to look like from afar “--and I will get back to my employers with it.”

“What, you’re going to steal from Lady Aesc?” Jason asked, stepping in front of it. “She’s our friend!”

“She’s not my friend,” Jackson said. “I don’t know what you lot get up to, running around the multiverse like a bunch of idiots, but that was never my life.”

“But she--”

“Never gave me the option, did she? Never met me. How could she, when I was stuck on a combat ship on the front lines? While all the cowards on exploratory ships and the civilians got to imagine that we lived in a better universe than we did? It’s all death and darkness, diseases and destruction out there.”

He took a step toward Jason. “Give me that crystal.”

“It’s not true,” Aesc!Jason said, stepping in front of Jason. “There’s beauty, and wonder, and life, and goodness out here, too. You just have to look for it.”

Commander Jackson laughed, a bitter, angry, tired laugh. “You poor deluded fool. Whenever there is a bit of beauty, a bit of peace, it all gets ripped away from you without a second’s notice. Now, get out of my way and let me give me what I want.”

“No,” Aesc!Jason said.

“To be honest, I didn’t think it would be this hard, considering you lot are a bunch of cowards,” Jackson said. He swung out an arm, knocking Aesc!Jason off his feet and toppling him to the floor.

Aesc!Jason groaned and his eyes fluttered shut.

“Serves you right,” Jackson muttered, glancing at Jason. “Are you next?”

“I should have guessed something was off about you when I saw that eyepatch,” Jason said.

“It’s standard issue,” Jackson said, lifting it to reveal a perfectly functional eye. He dropped it again. “It’s to intimidate the enemy.”

“I am not your enemy.”

“Oh, really?” Jackson said. “Explain.”

Jason hadn’t expected him to want an explanation. “You’re me, right? Even if you got thrown into different circumstances, and had to make different choices, you’re still Jason Jackson. And--”

“You just saw me hit a Jason Jackson.”

Good point. “Look, man, I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t see you as my enemy, but I also can’t let you take the crystal that’s behind me.”

Jackson sighed. “You want proof that we’re different people? Take a look at these poor saps.” He punched at some of the buttons on his device, and a holograph of two more Jasons was projected into the air above it. “This one, the one on the left, well, in his universe he failed his piloting exam, never left Earth, never joined Centro. Let me tell you, talking with him was an absolute bore. Constantly complained about how unfair life was but also wasn’t doing anything to change his circumstances. Stopped trying. And he’d never even seen battle.”

“Seeing battle isn’t a defining characteristic of a person,” Jason said.

“Says you,” Jackson answered. He waved at the figure on the right. “And this one? This Jason listened to his mommy and daddy and just parked his butt on Earth, just got himself a nice, safe, boring job in some cubicle farm, where he puts in his six to eight hours and clocks out to put himself to sleep every night after watching his favorite show while eating a microwave dinner.”

“Wow, you sure met a lot of Jasons,” Jason said.

“Had to visit a bunch of places in order to find you on her ship without her being here,” Jackson said. “So I think I’m qualified to say that we’re not the same person.”

“And I think--I think you’ve tried to tell me this to convince me that I should just let you take the thing,” Jason said. “You could be lying. And you could have just hit me. So why not just hit me?”

“You want me to hit you?” Jackson flexed one of his well-muscled arms. “I’m pretty strong.”

“Congratulations,” Jason said. “And, no, I don’t want to get hit. Who does?! But I find it really interesting that you didn’t just hit me when I started talking about eyepatches. Now, why is that?”

“Shut up and give me the crystal,” Jackson said, his voice wavering just slightly.

“See, it wasn’t to have a conversation with me,” Jason continued. “But you’ve had plenty of opportunity now to hit me, and you haven’t, so the question is, why haven’t you hit me?”

“Oh, I’ll definitely hit you,” Jackson said.

“Go on and do it, then,” Jason said, sounding braver than he felt. (Phil: “You sound like Lady Aesc right now.”)

Jackson swung his fist. All Jason felt was wind.

“You see,” Jason said, “you tried from the beginning to make me your partner in this, to help me help you. And so I’m guessing that your little device there makes you solid enough to be seen and to be talked with, and to maybe interact with the other Jasons we can see here, but not solid enough to take the crystal, or to hurt me, because this is my plane. I’m the Jason Jackson of this plane. I’m the one who can affect change in the here and now. And if I don’t give it to you, you can’t get it.”

“You figured it out, well done,” Jackson said. “I had hoped that maybe my employers were wrong because there’s nothing more I’d love to do than smack that grin off your face, but I guess they weren’t.”

“Who are your employers?”

“Like I’m gonna tell you that. They’re just gonna have to deal with being disappointed. This time. Until next time,” Jackson said, throwing a sloppy salute, then fiddled with the device and disappeared, taking all the echoes but Aesc!Jason with him. 

(Phil: “Glad that that’s over. I’m sending the titans their instructions now to clean the room up.”)

Aesc!Jason had pulled himself into a sitting position and was now rubbing his jaw where Jackson had hit him. He looked up at Jason. “Pretty good job, there,” he said. “I didn’t figure that bit out, that he couldn’t hurt you.”

Jason sat next to him. “Well, I didn’t figure it out until after he hit you, and I’m not sure it entirely makes sense.”

A shrug. “That’s how traveling with Lady Aesc works, really. Weird stuff happens, there’s running and arguing, more weird stuff happens, and then on to the next place.”

Jason shook his head. “That won’t be happening in this plane, I think.”

“Oh, why’s that?”

“Lady Aesc--well...welll--she died. Like an hour or so ago. I saw it happen.”

Aesc!Jason smiled. “She’ll be back.”

“That’s why Phil says, but--”

“You didn’t see her magic trick, and therefore you’re uncertain?”

“Yeah. And maybe if I had taken her up on her offer when she first asked me, like you did, maybe she wouldn’t have died.”

“So, my timeline is a little ahead of yours, Jason, and Lady Aesc died in my timeline, too.”

“She did?”

“Yeah, apparently it happens a lot. And it really threw me for a loop. I was all alone in the Foce, with just Phil snarking about how I was only an authorized novice and how I couldn’t take the Foce anywhere with Lady Aesc’s supervision, and I was so worried that I’d be stuck there forever. Even with the sweetest bedroom and movies and the all-you-can-eat buffet. Oh, and the swimming pool! Crystal-clear waters--”

“As much as I love hearing about the swimming pool,” Jason started.

“Oh, right, Lady Aesc,” came the response. “It took a little bit of time, but then she showed up, whisk and all. Turns out that when they die, her people get new bodies back on their home world. Like a respawn in Minecraft. Except it’s harder for Lady Aesc cause she has to figure out how to get back to where she was, and that can be tricky when you’re a great traveler like she is.”

“So she’s gonna come back?”

“Yep. You can trust her, Jason.”

“And can I trust you?”

Aesc!Jason laughed. “Of course, I’m not wearing an eyepatch.”

“So, is that one of the first rules of traveling a multiverse--if you get to a plane where everyone is wearing inappropriate clothing for what they’re doing, and all the leaders are wearing eyepatches, you find another plane to take your annual vacation in, right?” Jason asked as he stood, helping Aesc!Jason to his feet.

“Sounds about right to me.” He tapped the machine he wore on his wrist. “All right, my Lady Aesc is wanting me to get back to our timeline. She thought you might need my help here, and as it turns out that I was moderately helpful.”

“Extremely helpful,” Jason said. “Thank you.”

“You just sit tight and wait for your Lady Aesc. She’ll be here--she’ll probably look different than she did, but that’s just aesthetics. She’s just as mad as always.”

“And Phil?”

“That’s a complicated story, but he’s a good person. Gives good advice, most of the time,” Aesc!Jason said.

(Phil: “All of the times. I knew I liked you, Jason Jackson.”)

“And if Muscles shows up again, have Phil let us know.”

“You were calling him Muscles, too?”

“Yeah, until he went all eyepatchy evil on us. Look, Jason, I’m not saying this to brag, but you’ve got a good heart. You look for friends when others expect enemies, and sometimes that’s hard, but it’s worth doing. You’ll make a lot of friends that way.”

“Probably some enemies, too, I’d bet.”

“Well, yeah, but that comes with the territory of the adventures you’ll be having. Best of luck to you and your Lady Aesc.”

“You too,” Jason said.

And then the air rippled, and the Jason who’d taken Lady Aesc’s first offer was gone, leaving Jason all alone.

Well, Phil was still here. And Lady Aesc would be coming back to an intact ship, which he’d helped keep that way. So maybe she’d pull off her magic trick after all.

“Phil, where’s my bedroom?” Jason asked. “Looks like I’ve got some waiting to do.”




​

NEXT TIME ON LADY AESCULAPIUS...

Episode 4: THE DEADLY HOLIDAY OF DOOM, by Michael Robertson, James Wylder, and guests
 
"Holiday? Are you sure, can we not just...relax for a second?"
"This WILL be relaxing, silly!”

Everyone loves taking a vacation. 

The vistas. The beaches. The transtemporal sight-seeing. 

And best of all: the assassination attempts. Everyone loves those.


​


Lady Aesculapius Series 1 is part of 10,000 Dawns, and is a publication of Arcbeatle Press.
Lady Aesculapius was created by James Wylder.
All original elements to this story are the property of the author.
All rights Reserved, Arcbeatle Press 2019.
Our cover art is by Anne-Laure Tuduri.

Any resemblance between persons living or dead, fictional characters, and real or fictional events is either co-incidental or has been done within the bounds of parody and satire.

You can learn more about 10,000 Dawns at http://www.jameswylder.com/10000-dawns1.html

​

To think, this all began with a postcard. In 2004, I got a postcard covered with enticing art enclosed in an issue of Scrye Magazine in the mail. It was announcing Decipher, Inc.’s new trading card game, WARS. I spent the whole afternoon looking at the art on that postcard, and daydreaming. I was hooked instantly, and when I got to read the stories Decipher began posting online, I was in love.

There were feuding aliens that came through a “Mumon Rift” into our own world, cyborg pirates on the edge of space, samurai with jetpacks, vehicles like rolling balls, and so many wonders. But what really hooked me were the characters: WARS focused heavily on personal conflict and the reasons why people acted the way they did. There was hearty adventure, and it never lost that heart. There was no evil empire, only people who believed what they thought was just and right...in a way that was incompatible with others.

And all too quickly, that riftage daydream ended. The game was put on hiatus, and the stories stopped. But I never forgot. In college, I gave out WARS decks I bought for pennies on the internet, and started making friends playing the game, going on to run a popular WARS roleplaying game in college where those friends became lifelong ones. We told stories together, and dreamed that we could bring that joy to others.

​

It was during all of that that Grail Quest Books took up the license to publish WARS stories, and put out six novellas detailing the history of the setting. From my passion for the setting, I got my first job in traditional publishing through Josh and Kasandra Radke: proofreading and giving content advice on a few of the Novellas. But soon, those novellas stopped too, and WARS was once again on hiatus.

But I hadn’t stopped, along with the friends I made in college, I started my own sci-fi series, 10,000 Dawns. I edited anthologies, worked with heroes of mine till they became colleagues, put out novels, wrote plays, and finally began to publish books I didn’t write a word of myself. My small press, Arcbeatle Press, was doing well, and I’d begun to establish myself in the world of writing and publishing.

That was when I got the email: the folks at Grail Quest Books, who’d given me that first job, wanted me and Arcbeatle Press to take over the WARS publishing license.

It had been my dream for 15 years. How could I say no?

I’m so honored, and excited to be carrying the torch of Decipher’s WARS Universe. I can’t tell you much about our plans, we’re working on a lot of things and it’s going to take time to get them ready, but rest assured, me and the team at Arcbeatle Press are passionate about this, and we can’t wait to show you what we’ll be making. Arcbeatle Press will be publishing old and new stories, and bringing the universe of WARS to a brand new audience.

Helping me out is one of the Lead Editors of Arcbeatle Press, Jo Smiley, who was right there with me having late night chats about our dreams with WARS. Jo and I have always had big dreams with telling stories, and with WARS. Jo has written for Arcbeatle Press, Shotgun Angel Games, and Boundless Endeavors, Inc., and we’ll be pouring our shared experience and passion into this. In their own words: "When I was in college, the WARS roleplaying game was one of the things that kept me from totally falling apart, and the friends I made through it are still my friends today. So I'm extremely excited to hear that there is going to be new material published! I can't wait to be a part of it and let it help me explore the universe once again."

So the future is Under Construction (and if you haven’t read our new story, you can find it here: http://www.jameswylder.com/wars.html ), so be patient, and look ahead. We’ll be working hard to make that future a brighter one.

​

This journey has been a long one, and a tough one, so there’s a lot of people we should thank. So, probably missing many people, I’d like to say thank you to:

Jordan Stout, Miguel Ramirez III, Taylor Elliott, Jo Smiley, Rosalie Derk, Elizabeth Tock, Emmeryn Telemain Reed, David Koon, Patrick Blaker, Rosa New, Nathan Kramer-Herman, Jon Ward, Ashey Nichole Sims-Cleavland, John Cleaveland, Brandi Hornbuckle, Andrea Paul-Bonham, Mary Beringer, Thomas Jones, Ellie Fairfield, Dan Alejos, Kyle Edge, Meghin Clark, Olivia Hinkel, Colby McClung, Joshua Anderson, Phil Walker, Anthony Forthhofer, Spencer Sholty, Walker Roberts, Annie Bladen, Gara Gaines, and all the other folks who brought me so many memories and joys during our time together.

Rebecca Jacob, Gwen Ragno, Simon Bucher-Jones, Eric Asher, Lauren Jankowski, Stuart Douglas, Niki Haringsma, Nate Bumber, Jacob Black, Sam Maleski, Hunter O’Connell, Charles Whitt, Ruth Long, Mark Fearnow, Genevieve Clovis, Evan Forman, Michael Robertson, Tycho McPhee Letts, Kevin Burnard, Rob and Martha Southgate, Chris Mau, Luther Siler, Kathy Barbour, James Bojaciuk, Corey Roth, Damon Null, my parents, sisters, and brother in law, and everyone else who believed in me or Arcbeatle Press and helped us get here.

Josh and Kasandra Radke, Nathan Patrick Butler, Sean E. Williams, Jim Perry, Sabrina Friend, Bryan Thomas-Schmidt, Joshua Anderson, Brian Hickey, Chuck Kallenbach, Mark Tuttle, Michael A. Stackpole, Bryan Borgman, Michael O’Brien, Marianne Plumridge, Warren Holland, Tim Ellington, and all the other folks who worked on WARS who have been kind to me over the years.

Plus, all the many fans of WARS and Arcbeatle Press who have believed in us. You rock.

We’ll get to work then. See you on the other side of the rift,

-James Wylder
Publisher at Arcbeatle Press

​

Welcome back! We sure left off on a cliffhanger huh? Though if you don't know what we mean: maybe go and check out episode 1: http://www.jameswylder.com/blog/lady-aesculapius-episode-1
​
Well, we're back, and we're onto a new adventure...so without further adieu, let's get onto a new tale by me, James Wylder.

If you like Lady Aesc, you can support us on Patreon at http://www.patreon.com/jameswylder

If you're into podcasts, you can find Lady Aesc stories as podcasts at:  http://ladyaesculapius.libsyn.com

​ You never forget the first time you die. It happens very early after you’re born, that is if you’re a Firmament. Lady Aesculapius could still remember being born, falling out of her cloning tube, scratching at the skin over her eyes, mouth, nose, ears…she flailed on the cold floor, till the attendant came over and slit her eyelids and mouth open.
“Welcome to the multiverse,” she’d heard someone say, “now let’s get you toweled off, you have to fill out some forms.”
She was guided to a group of other doughy-eyed people, fresh out of their tanks, clothed only in a towel, eyes bright, taking in everything now that they existed, and smiling at each other.
“Hello!” a man said, “Wow, look at all these new faces!”
He stretched his arms out wide, expecting a laugh, though Lady Aesc just smiled and blinked, having never heard a laugh in her life yet.
The man sighed, “Well, as you all can see, the soul-bonding worked spectacularly. You’re the newest members of the Firmament, each of you with a firm (he chuckled) role to play in keeping the 10,000 Dawns running like clockwork. Now, sorry to say this, but even though we’ve been at this for a while, there are still some problems with the creation process, I’m afraid, and your first bodies, like all of ours, have some issues from the soul-bonding process. Hence the whole...face being covered in skin thing. You all looked faceless, and it creeps me out everytime. But look, I’m mainly here from the council to welcome you and apologize. Because well, we’re going to have to transfer you to new bodies right off. So, you know, sorry.”
They stared up at him, smiling and blinking, as the Enforcers of Knives slipped out from the shadows and slit every single one of their throats. Lady Aesc clutched her throat, gasping, crying, and then she died.
She woke up floating in a tank, now with proper eyelids and lips, and found herself sliding out of the tube, coughing onto the floor.
“There you go. We all have a false start there, miss, but welcome to the world for real now…” the man checked a tablet, “Aesculapius.”


It was with more grace and experience that Lady Aesculapius fell coughing to the floor this time, but she still remembered that first death. Her limbs were covered in the artificial amniotic fluid this new body had grown in, and behind her, dozens of her future bodies hung in their own solution, brainless and immobile. Around her, millions of other bodies were just the same, floating in their own jars.
“Hello, fancy seeing you here,” a voice said, and Lady Aesc looked up, the liquid dripping down from her hair blurring her vision. “You came out of there faster than I thought. Too bad.” Then the cudgel came down on her head, and she died again. And she felt her soul, if you can call it a soul, falling, and flying, and she dropped onto the floor again, sputtering fluid, gasping for air, crawling through shards of glass. Why was her tank broken?
“Get Enforcers in here now!” someone yelled, and a figure bolted, vanishing in a flash. Aesc felt held, someone pulling her up, wiping the solution from her eyes, pulling glass from her hands, and wrapping her in a towel. She was surrounded by robed Firmament, the people of her home planet, and they seemed panicked.
“Do you know who attacked you?” one of them asked her.
“There was a box, I opened the box, and it wasn’t a present, at least not a very good present. Honestly they need to take a class on birthdays if that’s their idea of--”
“When you arrived, someone attacked you and killed you again, correct?”
She nodded, “I don’t know who. I didn’t see them. Just heard them...”
“Damn,” the Firmament rubbed her forehead, “I don’t want you to panic, but they smashed your resurrection tanks. The bodies you’ve had in storage are...”
Aesc turned around. They weren’t kidding. The dozens of tanks, stretching far back into the seemingly endless room were all...smashed. The bodies ready to resurrect her upon dead lying scattered. “By the faceless gods,” she gasped.
“I know this has to be a shock, but...we need to know your name. They destroyed the markers on your tanks.”
“My name is...” There was a roar of wind, and the glass and blood on the ground shifted to form perfectly legible words:

​  “Oh dear, that’s a lot more dire than I usually get when I start an adventure. And in my new body. I hope I’m not remembered as the serious one.”
“Please, be serious. You were just murdered.”
“If the fans want a serious one I guess I can—ohhh you mean cause of the whole this potentially being my last body ever thing?”
The Enforcer gritted her teeth, “Yes, Aesculapius. If you’re killed again, before we can regrow some new bodies for you...you’ll be dead. Your memories will be lost.”
Aesc looked down at her new toes, and wiggled them, “Yes...that’s not good is it.”
“No.”
“How long before I can get a new body? Can I borrow someone else’s till another grows?”
She shook her head in reply, “I’m sorry but...”
“It doesn’t work that way,” The Arbiter of Resurrection cut in from behind them. “Lady Aesc, glad to see you survived whatever the hell this is.”
Aesc gave a weak smile in return.
“But...no. Transferring your consciousness between bodies isn’t a simple task, every vessel we grow is tailored just for that individual to transfer into. We can’t just give you another one, and as for regrowing them...”
“You’re pausing like this is going to be really bad news.”
“It’ll take 18 years.”
“Oh, come on! Can’t I just, I don’t know, hop in a child version of me or something?”
“No. We could certainly make you a child’s body if you’d like, but growing the connections inside the body that allow the transference of consciousness still takes 18 years.”
Aesc stared at all the bodies she’d planned to hop into. None of them were special, they were just dolls, machines she could pop her mind into and drive around for a lark. Bodies were nothing special to a Firmament, disposable things. Never before in Aesc’s life had it occurred to her that she could really die. She’d lost bodies before, and it felt like dying but...this was different. There was no back up. No second chance. Her pulse was present in a way she’d never noticed, her breath seemed loud. Her hand trembled, and she choked back some tears. She put on a big smile.
“I see. Well, not a problem then. I should be more environmentally conscious anyways, not throw around bodies too often like I did when I was in school!
“Have you ever been murdered before, Lady Aesc?” The Enforcer of Crime asked.
“What kind of a question is that?” Aesc replied, “Of course I’ve been murdered before, who hasn’t?”
“But who would want to murder you like this?”
Aesc had a lot of enemies, but most of them were sort of awkwardly evil friends at heart. They’d kill her, but all in good fun, knowing that she’d be back with a new outfit and face next time. This… “I...I really don’t know.”
“Until you have a new body, you’re not allowed to leave the Firmament, and you’ll be under our protective custody.”
Aesc shook her head, and as her hair, that was cut in a fun bob, got in front of her eyes, she realized she was blonde. She’d never been blonde before! At least if she was going out she’d finally changed her hair. “Sorry, no. I left my friend on my Factory of Crystal when I died. He has to be alone and terribly scared there. I don’t think I really did a great job explaining the whole Resurrection thing to him.”
“You can time travel to right after you left and you know it. But for now, by order of the Bright Council, you are prohibited from leaving, and that’s final.”
“Alright well, where am I going to sleep, huh? Answer me THAT!”


* * *


“I really should have thought through that they’d just give me an apartment. I really thought that would go further,” Aesc sighed, and looked over at her bodyguard. “Are you just going to stand there in the living room the whole time I’m living here?”
“I get breaks. The union sees to that.”
“Oh lovely, glad to hear there’s still the Enforcers union. I was worried they’d disbanded after the whole boom-y thing.”
“Blowing up the meeting just made us all angry when we Resurrected.”
“Oh I imagine so...” Aesc walked over to a mirror and inspected her body. She was blonde, check. Blue eyes, white skin. She’d only been white a few times before, always thought the light color clashed with her style. She must have put a few bodies like it in for a lark though, figured she’d try it out in a few millennia for a change. Draped over her was a Firmament robe, black with blue edges and trimming. On her feet were sensible black boots. She pulled the beak-pointed hood up, and down so you could only see her face and turned to the guard.
“Unlimited power!” she said in a loud cackily voice.
“Sorry?” the guard replied.
“Oh dear, well, this will be a long two decades.” She pulled the hood back down. She could go get some other clothes...no, no she wouldn’t do that. This body was temporary, and she needed to hold onto that. She wouldn’t pick out a new signature outfit that could be used in marketing material and have cosplay elements sold at Hot Topic until she was sure this wasn’t the end. Still, even so…
“I can leave the apartment right? I don’t have to take up knitting again to pass the time? I wasn’t very good at it last time. You don’t want to know how long that scarf got.”
“Yes.”
“Like, so long.”
“You can go.”
“Whatever you’re imagining? At least 50 times that length, I’m serious.”
“--as long as I escort you there.”
“Oh wonderful! Then let's go out on the town.”
Aesc grabbed his hand, and dragged him out the door, and out into the streets of polished white and black stones. The sky wasn’t filled with stars, but white disks that hovered and glowed gently till they opened up and crystal orbs shot out of them, back from journeys far and wide. Robed people moved through the streets, some followed by Foces the size of golf balls. It had been some time since she’d been home, and while she’d tired of it before, tonight it felt glorious to be alive and be home. They got to a plaza, and there was some sort of festival going on.
“Are you hungry? We should eat something!”
He sighed, “Sure.”
“Yipee!”
She ran off, and he scampered after, head turning this way and that way, looking for threats. When he caught up, she was jumping up and down in front of a stand where some Nobles of Food were creating all sorts of dishes.
“They have waffle sandwiches! With sandmacaw meat, how exotic, those aren’t from the 10,000 Dawns!”
“No, they aren’t. From...Gendar in the Superiors’ domain, I believe? Ever since the Christmas Needle Agreement we’ve gotten some new food patterns from outside our borders.”
“Two please!” Aesc said.
“No, I’m fine.”
Aesc furrowed her eyebrows, “I was about to ask what you wanted, those are mine. Also, some of that Hycia Tea, there’s a Noble.”
The robed worker handed Aesc the two waffle sandwiches, and she gave a little lick of her lip.
“Wait,” the guard said, “Actually, I should taste one of them. There’s a chance this is a ploy against your life.”
Aesc frowned, “Well...” she looked down at the sandwich. She hadn’t eaten anything with this body yet and it smelled so good…but her stomach was churning. She...couldn’t risk it, could she? “If you’d wanted one you should have just asked when I put in the order.”
The guard took the sandwich, and took a hearty bite of it. Chewed. Swallowed. She watched intently. “Yeah, I think you’re fine. Doesn’t seem that anything--”
His entire body lit on fire, there were gasps and screams as people pulled away from the immolating man. He cried out, and collapsed to the ground, a pile of bone and ash. Aesc stared at her bodyguard’s remains in a moment of shock, and then turned to the stall vendor.
They’d already started running. She bolted after them, leaping over the counter of the stall, through its back, and into an alley behind the square. “Stop in the name of...” Aesc trailed off, turned a corner, “Well, me I suppose!” the vendor turned another corner, and Aesc slid around it but...there was no one there. She scampered around, looking for an avenue of escape, but saw none.
“Probably a portal,” she sighed, “damn.”
Making her way back into the square, a freckled young woman with very wet dark hair was running towards her. “I’m sorry, I came back as fast as I could!”
“Sorry?” Aesc said.
She pointed at the remains on the ground.
“Oh! You resurrected fast. You have to still be woozy.”
“A little,” she staggered a little, “maybe a lot. But you’re alright, they didn’t hurt you?”
“I’m alright, they got away though...”
Her bodyguard looked shocked, “You didn’t chase them did you? That’s your last body!”
“I’m fine.”
“You can’t be so careless. You’re effectively...”
“I’m what?”
“You’re...effectively mortal till we get you new bodies.”
She looked up at the sky. Silent fireworks were going off above the festival, a beautiful lightshow that didn’t panic your pets, “I suppose I should go home then, for now...” she frowned. 18 years in one place. “But I’m already getting stir crazy. Come on then...what’s your name anyway?”
“I’m an Enforcer of Crime--”
“Yes yes, your name.”
She coughed, and leaned in, “Uh, Nemesis.”
“Your name is Nemesis?”
“Look, I went down to Earth once and they thought I was a goddess of Law but after I left things got...a little funny with the etymology.”
“Ah,” Aesc said.


* * *


One year later.


“And then—and then! Get this, Nixon told Blanche he didn’t accept her apology. Can you imagine that?”
Nemesis threw the ball against the wall, watched it bounce off the lamp, table, bookshelf, food synthesizer, entertainment system, a statue of one of the Faceless Gods, and then fly back perfectly into her hand, “Yes, I can believe it cause you already told that story. Twice.”
“Oh, did I?” Aesc frowned, “Well it is a good one. Did I mention--”
“That you and Blanche made out to make Nixon uncomfortable? Yes, you did.”
“We’re in an open relationship these days, actually.”
“Yep,” Nemesis yawned, “and you visit her in a cottage you set up for her.”
Aesculapius through her hands up, “I’m bored! I want to go explore somewhere!”
Nemesis rubbed her eyes, “We can’t leave the Firmament. We...” Nemesis shot up off the couch, “I’ve got it!” Her arms were waving every which way, “You me, we get the Council to agree to send us on some record keeping missions! We can travel on my Enforcer Foce!”
“You really think they’ll let us?”
“I might be able to swing it,” Nemesis pulled her long hair back behind her shoulders. “It won’t be easy...but...”


“I have a petition that I be allowed to take Lady Aesculapius off of the Firmament on fact finding missions authorized by the Council under our custody while--”
The Enforcer of Authorizations shrugged, “Yeah, sure, whatever.” And stamped the form.


Lady Aesculapius ran, holding the authorization while skipping with glee. The Foces were parked on pedestals in the hall of transport, and she ran into the room, blazing past other Firmament walking through it till she stopped awkwardly a few hundred feed in, looked around, and began a slow jog back to Nemesis who was waiting at the doorway.
“Sorry, yeah um, which one is yours?”
Nemesis pointed to one a few meters from the entrance.
“Oh, lovely. Come on then, let’s have some adventures,” she grinned, “maybe I’ll even pick out an outfit.”
“No, the authorization says you have to remain in uniform, while--”
Aesc rolled her eyes and looked up at the towering ceiling, “Yes yes, fine I’ll wear the robe. Come on then, let’s go! I’m working for the man but I’m going places!”
The pair placed their hands on the crystal orb, and were sucked in. It rose from the pedestal, and zoomed through an opening in the roof up to one of the white disks in the sky, and disappeared.


25 years later.
“I’m back!” Lady Aesculapius said, “Followed all the rules, stayed on the beaten path, didn’t even say hi to Jason or Blanche, and if I did I erased my memory of it for continuity reasons, and even over shot the mark a little! But it’s time to take a look at all my new bodies!” she had dropped out of the Foce right in front of the hall of resurrection, and was marching through the door with a lei, straw hat, and sunglasses on.
“Lady Aesculapius...” the Arbiter of Resurrection droned, “you do remember that when you leave the Firmament on official business, you return back the moment after you arrived, don’t you?”
Aesc removed her sunglasses, stared at the Arbiter for a moment, and then threw the glasses to the floor and heel-turned to walk back out the door.
“Sorry,” Nemesis said, picking up the discarded glasses.
“I’m a dolt,” Aesc shouted, “an absolute dolt.”
“You got off world for a while!”
“I still have to wait 17 years here, that’s...ugh! They know I have to, whoever tried to kill me. I just put everything off!” Aesc turned again, this time holding a finger in Nemesis’ face, “Of course. I know exactly what I’ll do. I’ll investigate who is trying to kill me!”
“No! NOPE! You are NOT--”
“If only I had that detective outfit Graelyn left on my Foce...”
“I said you’re not--”
“Come on then, Nemesis, the game is afoot!”
“You’re going to lose a foot!” she shouted, running after Aesc.


* * *


The Temple of the Faceless Gods, or the Forgotten Gods as some called them, was puzzling to those few outsiders who got to visit the Firmament. Inside were rows of pews, polished white marble floors and walls, and an altar in front of giant statues of said Faceless Gods, whose most notable feature was in their name. No faces, no names, and no real defining traits. They stood, vague and powerful, at the end of the room. Lady Aesculapius, as all Firmament did, recognized that they were incredibly important to the history of the Firmament and it was probably best to leave an offering every so often just in case. But why they were supposed to revere them, and who they were, had been so long lost to time that the Firmament didn’t like talking about it, just because it was a little embarrassing. Especially when visitors from other universes came by to chat, especially the Superiors, who thought it ridiculous you could lose track of history like that.
Lady Aesc had spent many days in the temple, partially because it was a quiet spot that was rarely visited, and partially because her sister Myrrhine worked there, first as an aide, then as a deacon, then a priest, and finally she’d been made High Priestess by her predecessor, who wanted to move onto more prestigious work monitoring pancake production in Portugal.
It was a fairly typical scene Aesc and Nemesis barged in on, as Myrrhine was holding up a series of things in baskets on the altar.
“Hello! I offer you, oh Faceless Gods, flowers from across the multiverse! If you like flowers. I know you might not. But, if you do there’s a lot of nice scents here, so pick out one you like, how about? Don’t like that? Noooooooooo problem! We have an offering here of bread! Straight from my old boss, the Arbiter of Food. Wheat bread, pancakes, rolls, biscuits and gravy...ew that’s actually quite messy oh dear...uh...moving on? We’ve got shiny things! Do you like shiny things? Enamel pins? Give me a sign!” There was silence. “Well if you like em, I’ve got em! And if not, you know, sorry.”
Aesc gave a polite cough, and Myrrhine turned. Her eyes lit up and she dropped the offering basket to run over to her sister, “Oh goodness! Aesculapius! How long has it been?!? Oh goodness, you’ve changed bodies. I hope it wasn’t too bad.”
“Murdered actually! But not to worry, I have a bodyguard now and her name is Nemesis which, is frankly the coolest shit ever.”
Myrrhine looked at Nemesis, “Is...that really your name.”
She pursed her lips and nodded.
“HOLY SHIT THAT’S THE COOLEST FUCKING NAME I’VE EVER HEARD?!?” Myrrhine yelled.
“RIGHT?” Aesculapius yelled back, and the two held hands and jumped up and down a few times together while yelling and then broke into laughter and a stumbling hug.
“Oh, it’s really been too long. I’m so glad you came back to visit! How long have you been back?”
“Only a year.”
“Oh wow, and you’re visiting already? You must have really missed me! Waaaaait,” Myrrhine held a finger is out at her sister, “If everything is alright why DO you have a bodyguard huh? Point and match! Check and mate! Hot and dog!”
Nemesis’ face was stone cold, “I can’t believe you both talk like this.”
Aesc pulled her lips back and tilted her head back, “Well…the folks who tried to murder me sort of, uh, destroyed all of my Resurrection Tanks...”
There was complete silence, until the basket of bread lost it’s balance and all the rolls tumbled to the floor.
“You’re exaggerating. No one could have busted up all of them. We all have hundreds of the things?”
“...Surprise?”
Myrrhine put both hands on Aesc’s shoulders, “You could...die? Like really die? I...” She looked at Nemesis, “You better keep her safe!”
“I’m trying. She, however, wants to find her killer.”
The sisters looked into each others eyes, “You know I can’t stay in one spot.”
“I know...wait!” Myrrhine ran to the altar, reached into a pocket in her robe, pulled something out, spent a few awkward moments tapping away at something, said “huh!” and then hastily pulled something out of the tray of shiny things, and ran back to her sister, pinning it on her robe. It was a cute hedgehog pin.
“It’s been possibly maybe blessed by the Faceless Gods, if you know, they do that.” Myrrhine said, “Plus you’ve always loved hedgehogs.”
“Thank you,” Aesc said, admiring the pin, “Maybe this body will have a little trademark...”
“She had a pet hedgehog you know! Long ago. Said she’d train it into a legendary hero.”
Nemesis furrowed her brow, “Like...was it like a person-sized hedgehog, or...”
“Oh, no, normal-sized.”
Aesc looked wistfully at the pin, “I missed that lil guy after he created his first space-time portal.”
“Took my pet fox with him,” Myrrhine muttered.
Nemesis gently raised an eyebrow.
“Aesc,” Myrrhine said, “Whatever you do, I know you’ll do what’s right. You always have. You’ll make our vat-batch proud, Just stay safe. You’ll find who hurt you.”
“I will, I promise. On all counts.”
“The Faceless Gods may or may not work in mysterious ways,” Myrrhine comforted, “or exist,” she added.
“Thanks Myrrhine, you always know just what to say,” Aesc replied.
“So...” Myrrhine looked between the two of them, “sleeping together yet?”
Nemesis blushed, “We are absolutely not! I wouldn’t!”
“Oh come on, you’re on a long term assignment, you’re both attractive young pansexual immortals.”
“You don’t know that.”
Myrrhine winked, “The Faceless Gods may or may not grant me important knowledge. Or exist.”
Nemesis rolled her eyes, “You checked my social media when you were over by the altar didn’t you?”
Myrrhine raised a finger, held it in the air, and then crossed her arms mumbling in defeat.
“Anyways, no, that’s not something that’s going to happen.”


Five Years Later
Nemesis grumbled as the light came on, “Could you turn that off, I’m still trying to sleep.”
“I bet you’re tired!” Aesc said, “Sorry about the lights, the whole motion detecting thing makes slipping out of bed to try to make you breakfast just not quite possible.”
Nemesis grumbled, and slipped out from under the covers, instantly regretting how cold she was by doing it. Aesc was still in the nude too, aside from the apron, so she came up behind her and gave her a hug from the back with a kiss on the neck as she flipped the pancake over.
“You’re actually cooking?” Isn’t that kind of uncomfortable in just an apron?” Nemesis said. “You can just ring up the Nobles of Food, or replicate it.”
“My Sister’s old boss, now Arbiter of Food, taught the two of us how to cook. Well, and one of our other sisters, but you haven’t met her so just pretend she’s not there. I find it fun, honestly. I keep a big kitchen on my Foce just so I can make whatever I want when I want it. It’s quite liberating, really.”
Nemesis nodded into her shoulder, “Alright. Well, it smells good. But you should come back to bed.”
“Not yet, the pancakes will burn! And you haven’t eaten yet today.”
“I could eat right now?” Nemesis said, pulling at the apron.
“No sex till pancakes!” Aesc replied, “Now go sit down, I’m being a good girlfriend!”
Nemesis went back to the bedroom and grabbed a blanket, wrapping herself up and sitting down at the table. How her life had changed. She woke up every morning curled up with another warm person, this strange amazing woman she was protecting. She felt warm, even though her feet were cold poking out from the blanket’s hem. She had been just another Enforcer of Crime not that long ago, most of them even had the same face. This body, her body, hadn’t been the next one in her cue, it had been a few dozen down. But it was the one that activated, and she liked it. She liked it a lot, even though it was her first one like it. And she couldn’t tell if it was because Aesculapius liked it, or if she did.
“Aesc?” Nemesis called.
“Almost done!”
“What’s going to happen, you know, when you find your killer?”
“I’ll go back adventuring! See more fun places. Oh, and go find Jason. I hope I’ll show up not too long after he saw me die, poor thing has to be worried sick. Oh, and see Blanche! She has to be lonely.”
Nemesis felt her stomach do a little turn. No, stop that. “How many partners do you, uh, have anyway?”
“Oh, a few. I’m open with all of them, of course. I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea that I stick around in one place too long.”
“Do any of them, you know, get attached?”
“Well of course they do, and I stop in and see them. But I shouldn’t be the center of anyone’s life, I’m not the most interesting thing about anyone, whether they believe that or not.”
Aesc walked in, carrying a big tray of pancakes, set it down, and then ran back into the kitchen to grab all the other things they needed, plates, cups, drinks, silverware, syrup…Nemesis found she was a lot hungrier than she’d expected, and Aesc made pretty good pancakes.
“I’ve been wondering,” Nemesis said, after carefully swallowing and wiping her mouth, “why do you date, you know, mortals.”
Aesc shrugged, “Why not? They’re no different than anyone else except for the whole permadeath thing.”
“But that’s a pretty big thing.”
“Nem,” Aesc said, “you’re forgetting.”
She hadn’t forgotten. And that worry, she worried, was part of why she was getting so attached. Nemesis shoved a piece of pancake around on her plate, “Do you remember the first time you died?”
“Of course I do, every Firmament does. It’s the same for all of us. We pop out, they cut our eyes and mouth open, then they execute us so we’re reborn without the first-body problems.”
Nem nodded, “It’s funny, isn’t it? We’re so connected to these things mortals go through. We die, we die all the time. Not fake deaths, but really bloody ones where we feel our life slipping away. And we get cold to it. We eat food, but we don’t have to eat food. It’s just...something to pass the time. We wear bodies, but they’re not really us. We can pick and choose them. Sometimes I wonder if we’re just a parody of life? You know?”
“Not really, no.”
“Like, take you. What if there’s some other adventurer out there. Running around saving planets. Getting into trouble on their spaceship with their mortal pals. What if you’re just a reflection of them, what if we all are? Just...pale mimics of something real?”
Aesc frowned, “Is there something wrong, Nem?”
She shook her head, “No.”
Aesc tapped her fork, “You’re coming at this the wrong way. We’re not desperately disconnected in our bodies, we have bodies because we still want to be connected. For all our high and mighty rhetoric, we love the 10,000 Dawns, and the people in them. And we want to be part of that. We could be just...static light and noise I’m sure but...who would enjoy the pancakes? Or the sex? Or the bad movies humans forgot about? Or the feel of grass? People die, but we keep that memory. We hold onto it even when we do die. And we can share those memories with the people we love. Maybe that’s why I love finding mortals to hang out with. Or maybe it’s not that deep. Maybe pancakes just fucking taste fantastic, pass the syrup.”
Nem did, and smiled as their fingers touched.


* * *


Four Years Later


“Wow, honestly I’m a terrible detective,” Aesc said, hurling the tablet across the room. It gently stopped and hovered an inch above the floor instead of crashing.
Nem shook her head, and clutched her tighter. She was warm. “You’re not a terrible detective. I’m the one with the crime training, and I’ve found nothing either. So that makes me the terrible detective.”
“Excellent,” Aesc said glumly, “We both suck.”
“Oh hush. My old teacher always used to say, ‘Trying and failing is just the first step to succeeding!’ he was a wise man.”
Aesc eyes watered a little, “Did he? Did he really?”
“Er, yes, I didn’t think it was that inspirational,”She pulled her in tighter.
“Move your arm, you’re squishing my boob.”
“Sorry.”
“My old teacher would…not have said anything like that.”
Nem frowned, “He wasn’t a good teacher I take it?”
Aesc shook her head, “The worst, honestly. How many times have you died, do you know?”
Nem thought for a moment, “I think around… Twenty-seven times? Most of them when I was in school, athletics and that sort of thing. Once during the conflict with the Original Mammoths,” she poked her, “which of course you helped fix.”
“Oh pish, that was mostly my friend Graelyn. But...look, my main point is… I don’t know how many times I’ve died. I lost count a long time ago.”
“Is this connected to that teacher?”
“Yeah,” Aesc said, “this isn’t the first time I’ve nearly ran out of bodies it...” she turned over, and faced away from Nem, “It was actually something of a minor scandal, you know. Not that the school did anything about it. They just covered it up, he kept working, still even taught me but...”


“Pundit Aesculapius?” Professor Meistras yelled, “I can see you have a second book open there.”
Aesculapius fumbled to shut the book, but it dropped to the floor with a thud.
Mestras sighed, and shook his head while stroking his beard, “Oh Pundit Aesculapius. You are always getting into trouble in my class. You’d think you’d learn by now what the punishment is?” She sat frozen as he picked the book up off the floor, “All this trouble for a book of Faerie stories? Really?” He laughed. “Look at me.”
She looked at him, and as her head turned he was already pulling out the knife, and jamming it into her throat.
“Knife to see you!” he chuckled.
Aesculapius clutched at her neck, the knife had gone all the way through. She gurgled on her own blood.
“Look what you made me do, you disobedient child.”
The world went black, and there was only black, and then she tumbled out onto the floor, cold and wet. She coughed up birthing fluid, and felt the towel wrap around her, “Welcome back, Pundit Aesculapius, I’m...”
Usually, the aide would introduce their title, but the aide just stopped, and then said, “Oh shit. I need a manager.”


As she sipped on the hot tea, now dry in her new robe, Aesc listened as the attendants talked.
“How did we miss this, he’s killed her dozens of times in too short a span.”
“So, he’s her teacher?”
“Didn’t you see the log? Look at it.”
“...Shit.”
“Yes.”
“She’s really out of bodies?”
“Yes.”
They looked at her, and they were afraid for her. And Aesc never forgot that look.


“Now,” Meistras said, “Pundit Aesculapius. You may know that as a reward for your own misbehavior, you’re getting a reprieve from dying, and I got a lecture about irresponsibility. Me. Irresponsible, when you’ve caused all these problems yourself by breaking my rules. Tell me you’re sorry.”
She didn’t reply.
“Tell me you’re sorry or I’ll forget about not killing you again.”
“I’m sorry.” She paused, and thought for a moment, “Sir.”
“Damn right you are. Now then, till you get a new fresh batch of bodies grown, we’ll have to take a new tactic. Hold out your arm.”
Aesc froze.
“Hold it out.”
She did.
“Now, everytime you disobey, you’ll get a new mark from my knife. So you don’t forget who is in charge when I’m done. Is that clear?”
She nodded. And he made the first mark.


“WHAT THE FUCK?” Nem yelled, sitting up in bed, “WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FLYING FUCK IN THE FACELESS GODS???”
Aesc shrugged, “It’s in the past. This place, this planet… I don’t like being here. The rest of the multiverse is fun, it’s exciting, there’s so much to see but...here it’s like a different place. It’s cold. And things just have to keep going the way they are. I hate being here. If I could leave, there’s nothing that would keep me here. Nothing. I want to run away every day I’m trapped here in this hellhole. It’s like I’m in the wrong story and I can’t get out.”
Nemesis put a hand on her shoulder, “Then...then we’ll get you off of here as soon as we can.”




Five years later.


It was on a boring evening that Aesculapius realized what she’d been missing. She and Nemesis had been watching a movie together. Aesc was worried that Nemesis was maybe getting a little too attached for their little decade long fling, and her mind wandered away from the movie to the popcorn she’d made, and then it occurred to her that they’d been going about their search the wrong way. They’d gone through files, and looked at the records of all the Nobles of Food but...they weren’t going to solve it that way. Waiting around to be killed had never worked before. And it wouldn’t work again. She needed to draw her killer out. And she finally knew how.
All she needed was a big place for lots of food to be needed.
Pity the quantum whisk was still on the Foce.
“Let’s visit the temple tomorrow,” Aesc whispered, “I have an idea.”
“Oh yeah?” Nem whispered back.
“Yep! And another thing: when this is all done," Aesc kissed Nemesis, "you can come with me, we can travel the universes forever. With Jason, obviously, so you know you'll have to get used to him for a bit but...after that too. And after that. How's that sound."
Nemesis smiled, and kissed her back, "Well, I would like that."


“Myrrhine? Yelloooow? That's hello but it's funny cause it's a color!"
"You're a color!" a voice called out from an alcove, "Sorry, just getting the hypothetical offerings out for the day."
Aesc and Nemesis wandered up to the altar, as Myrrhine walked up carrying several big baskets of different foodstuffs, "Got to cover all the bases, you know."
"Myrrhine, I was wondering if you could help us out. I have a plan."
"A plan to do what?"
"To catch my killer of course! Draw them out into the open."
Myrrhine set down the baskets in a big awkward bunch and then straightened them out, "Oh rats, I dropped a pancake. Nemesis, could you be a dear? And yes, of course I'll help you. Whats family for?"
Nemesis went to collect the pancake, and the other seventeen things that had dropped without Myrrhine noticing, and Aesc's eyes lit up. "I have an even better plan actually."
All eyes turned to her. The striped bulla birds in the rafters looked at her. The quadracentapedes looked at her. The dog with the all seeing eyes a mile away looked at her.
"Okay, now I'm getting a little nervous. Maybe just listen but, you know, not all stare."
They all awkwardly looked at the walls or ceiling.
"Yes, even you."
The all-seeing dog shut his all-shutting eyelids.
"Thank you. Because...I know who killed me!" She did jazz hands.
All eyes turned back to her.
"Stop it!"
"Sorry," everyone said in unison. A dog barked in the distance.
"You're not...angry?" Nemesis asked.
Aesc shook her head, "Why would I be angry? They only murdered me, I got over it. But still, can't let it slide. Especially since they might, you know, really kill me and that'd kinda suck I guess."
"We've got your back," Myrrhine said.
"But we'll need a reason to lure them in they won't suspect. Something big and public..."
"The festival of the Faceless Gods!" Myrrhine said, "It's perfect! It's one of the only things I still get public funding for as long as there's an open bar!"
"We're going to make it the biggest festival in years!"
"Well that's going to be literally true no matter what," Nemesis cut in, "it literally only happens every eighteen years, it was happening the day you arrived. We went to it."
"Oh," Aesc said. Then narrowed her eyes, "OoooOOHHhhhHH!!!!!!!!!!!! NEW PLAN!"
" We didn't even hear the--"
"New plan! Let's get festival planning!"


8 Years Later


"Is the guest list confirmed?" The Arbiter of Crime asked.
"Yessir," Nemesis replied, "we've screened them all, and have plenty of our own people in place.”
"And are you still capable of doing your assignment? You've been assigned to Lady Aesculapius for a long time. Some in the force might be worried that you're no longer able to see the situation clearly due to your proximity."
"I'm more than capable, sir."
The Arbiter nodded, "How has the investigation gone? Give me an update."
"Poorly, sir."
He nodded again, "Well, we'll see if Aesc's plan bears the fruit she's hoping for. I'll see you at the festival. I have...Ambassadors to meet, sadly. I hate these Union rules... I'm still angry I failed to get rid of the damn thing... Oh, one last question--very important actually. Open bar?"
"Several, actually."
"Splendid. Dismissed."
"Yessir," Nemesis gave a quick bow, and left the room. Was she still capable? Objective? She shook her head. Keep things clear. Years of work were going to pay off. And she hoped Lady Aesculapius knew what she was doing.


* * *


"Is that a freaking dragon?" someone half yelled, half laughed as it swooped over, blowing a line of fire in the air and making a loud cry.
"I hear they brought it in from a fairy tale dimension, and she's a shapeshifter or something."
Indeed, the dragon landed, and turned into a black haired girl who waved at the crowd.
"Ohhhhh, always lovely when they bring in the lower life forms to show off. Good to see they're advancing themselves!"
Aesc rolled her eyes at that last bit, but she was happy the passing people were enjoying the festivities. She thumbed the enamel hedgehog pin, and kept moving through the crowd. Her sister was up on a big platform, letting a version of the Beatles where they'd let Billy Preston join as an official fifth member finish their set, orchestrating the whole thing with aplomb. The food stands were out in force, silent fireworks popped in the air, and in the distance she could see a stage filled with performances of “What Might Have, Possibly, Been the Myths About the Faceless Gods (We're Doing Our Best Here, Don't Judge Us)" by the Arbiter of Theater and the other Nobles of Theater.
Things were going just right.
Now, to spring the trap.
She spied Nemesis, and gave her the signal, and she passed it on to Myrrhine.
"And now, I'll let my only temple assistant, who hasn't shown up to work in years but showed up for the party, the unreliable lazy bum, take over while I do some boring ritual stuff no one else here will bother with!" Myrrhine said, and the Assistant of the Faceless Gods came up, awkwardly, and coughed into the microphone, "Oh uh, hello. Yes, well according to this, next up we have a performance from Mozart and Bono, who will be performing a cover of "99 Problems"."
Aesc began making her way to the temple, and saw Myrrhine doing her part, as she stopped and talked to Aesc's killer, and set the plan into motion.
Perfection.
Aesc waited by the altar, and Nemesis came in, and got next to her. She was sweating.
"It's gunna be alright, I know what I'm doing Nem," she reached over and squeezed her hand, "we got this."
"It's a risky plan," she rasped, "but alright. Let's do it."
Myrrhine entered in, followed by a guest, "Thank you so much for coming with me, I really appreciate the offerings. If the gods exist, I'm sure they'll appreciate them coming from..."
Aesc squeezed Nemesis' hand harder.
"...my old boss, the Arbiter of Food."
He was a jolly fellow, heavily balding with rosy cheeks, "Oh, it's my pleasure Myrrhine. You've done a wonderful job with this year's festival, honestly you've surpassed every expectation for High Priestess, I'm so proud of you--"
He looked towards the altar, "Oh, Aesculapius! And an Enforcer of Crime! Are you here to help with the offerings?"
"No," Aesc said, pointing forcefully, "I'm here to help with...JUSTICE!"
"Wait," Nemesis said.
"No, waiting. You, the Arbiter of Food. I should have known it was you all along! Who else had the access you did? You deliver food to the Hall of Resurrection, you run the food stands. You mail delicious packages! And you knew just what I like to eat! It's how you ensnared me...to MURDER ME! But what I don't understand," Aesc let go of Nemesis' hand so she could put both hands on her hips and stare the Arbiter down, "is why you did it."
The Arbiter's face went white, and he looked between Nemesis, and Myrrhine, and Aesc, "B-b-b-but I didn't! I didn't kill you! I don't know what you're talking about! I did everything I could to help the investigation even, I've been worried sick!"
"You liar!" Aesc yelled, "Who else could have done it?"
"He didn't do it," Nemesis said."
Aesc turned, eyebrows cocking.
"Because," a loud voice said from the rafters, "I did."
Dropping down was a figure in a rich Firmament robe, who pulled back their hood to reveal...
"The...Arbiter of Crime?" Myrrhine said.
He grinned, "The one and only. And it looks like today is the day you die for real, Lady Aesculapius."
Aesc stumbled backwards, "You? You killed me?"
He laughed, "Who else had the access, you idiot?"


The Enforcers smashed the tanks, "We need to get them all, quickly, before she can resurrect!" But one already had. Luckily though, he was right there. “Hello, fancy seeing you here,” he said, and Lady Aesc looked up, the fluid dripping down from her hair over her face. “You came out of there faster than I thought. Too bad.” Then he dropped his cudgel down on her head, and she died again.
"Someone's coming," one of them called, and heads turned, and indeed someone was: a food cart coming through the front door with snacks for the staff.
"Shit, hide, did we get them all?"
"I think so, sir!"
"HIDE!"
The Arbiter of Crime looked over the wreckage, the lifeless bodies, the pooling blood and...he heard one draw breath. He rushed over, and prepared for the killing blow…
“Someone get Enforcers in here now!” a voice yelled.
...He rushed away, portal hopping just outside to where the hundred enforcers were panting by the wall.
"What are you waiting for, go in there and make it look like we've got a great response time!"
"But sir, should we try to kill her?"
"No, you idiot, not yet! Make it look proper for now." He gritted his teeth, "They need time. Our allies need time. So we'll give them time."


Aesc shook her head, "No, no, that can't be true, I mean, Nemesis here..."
"My Enforcer of Crime?" The Arbiter laughed, "My trusted agent?"
Aesc looked at her, "Don't tell me it's true."
The Enforcer of Crime didn't look at her, didn't answer. Her lip trembled.


"The new plan is going perfectly," The Arbiter said, as The Enforcer of Crime toweled herself off, and put on her new robe, "she thinks you saved her life."
"I did save her life, you didn't tell me you were going to kill her. Burning alive hurt a lot, you know."
"Part of the job. Now, you'll be going deep cover. Keeping her occupied while our allies do what must be done, and then we kill her properly."
The Enforcer looked at her body, "I didn't put this body in my cue, did I?"
"No. I put it in, it's designed to be appealing to Lady Aesculapius. Fits some of her quirks. I know it's not your usual, but you'll get used to it."
"Yessir."
"Now run off, get there quick. You need her to trust you." She ran. The Arbiter smiled.


Aesc wiped the tears from her eyes, "What the...how could you...how...I trusted you. I really trusted you. I told you things I don't tell people."
The Enforcer of Crime looked at her feet.
"And that, Lady Aesculapius, is the end for you. We had you, hook line and sinker. Why do you think you never got anywhere in your investigation? You basically forgot about it!"


She rolled over with Nemesis, laughing, tangled up in the sheets.


"You let 18 years pass here, and what did you get out of it?"


Enforcers clicked through the video footage from the Hall of Resurrection, editing themselves out of it, as they were supposed to investigate it.


"You're just as much of a failure as you've always been, you failed here in school, you never even got promoted above "lady". You're nothing. And you're not going to stop the Utopia Dimension."
"I’m...not not nothing...wait. Stop. The what?” Aesc mumbled.
“Don’t listen to him!” Her sister yelled.
“I don’t understand though. How did you get that package onto my Foce?”
“What? Oh, no that wasn’t me, I was just running this part of the operation. My contact with the Utopia Dimension set all this up.”
“Oh. Well that’s a bummer. Any clues who they are?”
“I don’t know who they are.”
“Double bummer. But...Why would you do any of this? Why would you...why? And what's this Utopia Dimension?”
"I may as well tell you, since you're going to die anyway."
Nemesis actually did react, cocking her head to the side and mouthing, "No, that doesn't make..sense?" but he kept going.
"We Firmament have become too detached from life. We don't eat because we need to, we don't do anything because we need to. We treat our bodies like disposable toys. We’re parodies, echoes, reflections of something real. We're pointless beings, we could be replaced with machines for all the good we do! We've lost life, and the Utopia Dimension has found it. The Firmament has lost its way, and the Utopia Dimension will do things right. Make the multiverse great again."
"By killing the entire multiverse?" Aesc yelled.
"By killing the people who don't matter. And many Firmament will agree with me. You might have even heard them say it: they think we're better than other species. Because we are."
"You just said we were like, weak and had lost our way," Myrrhine noted.
"Yes you did just say that," the Arbiter of Food agreed.
"We will make the Firmament strong again! We'll imprison lesser beings, kill them, whatever we need to do. We'll be the gods we needed to be. We'll be the faces in this temple."
Aesc shook her head, "You're wrong. You're wrong about everything. People matter. Life matters. And it doesn't matter what package it comes in. Just because someone doesn't live the way you do, love the way you do, just because their body isn't like yours or like you think it should be, just because they believe that being kind is good, it doesn't make them weak. It makes them real. And all of them, every person, they matter. And real friends," she looked at The Enforcer of Crime, "they're real too. They believe in each other. Like Jason. I know he's waiting for me. And Blanche, I know she is too. And they're people you think are less than us, but guess what? They never broke my trust." Aesc raised a fist in the air, "I believe in love. And kindness. Trust. Friendship. And I'll die on that hill. Because as much as you want to hate those people, I'll love them more. I'll love them for every slight you give them. And I will stand up for them. So what are you going to do, kill me?"
"Yes," The Arbiter of Crime said.
"Fuck the police, I guess," Aesc concluded.
"Enforcer of Crime, finish her off."
The Enforcer raised her head, "Sir," She said, pulling out her blade, "my name is Nemesis."
Aesc's eyes glowed, "You do care!"
"Pity," the Arbiter said, and a hundred Enforcers of crime burst into the temple through the roof, windows, doors, and a few even through the floor grates, "kill them all."
"You forgot one thing!" Aesc grinned, "It's my party, it's been 18 years," she dropped a holocube on the floor, "this has all been broadcast live across the whole Firmament, including on the stages outside this Temple, and I'll die if I want to!"
The Arbiter's face blanched.
"Alternate reality Princess Graelyn who turns into a dragon!" Aesc yelled, "Dracarys!!!!!"
"What?" Everyone said in unison.
"You know, the, Game of Thrones...line?"
"We stopped watching during season 5," an Enforcer replied from the back.
"Fair!" Aesc said, and then all of them were burned to death as the dragon flew over, blasting the temple of the Faceless gods to ash.


You never forget the first time you die. For a lot of people, it takes place only once. But maybe it doesn't. You have that moment where it's all slow, and death is coming, and you realize you can't stop it, and then it's black, and maybe there is a light. And then it starts fading out, but it fades back in. And it's a lot like that for the Firmament too. None of them forgot it either.
And over a hundred of them slid out of their tubes, naked and gasping on the floor. What they didn't expect however, was to be surrounded.
"The Arbiter of Crime?" a man asked, and she looked up, gasping.
"Yes?" she rasped out.
Then she felt binders around her wrists, "This is an Arrest by the Food Workers, Crime Enforcers, and Resurrection Tanks Specialists Unions for crimes against the people of the Firmament. Anything you say can and will be used against you by the Enforcers of Justice.
She looked up, shocked, "But you can't do that! If you arrest me, then like...people will be angry! I have supporters! The Utopia Dimension will triumph! We'll kill the lesser beings, you can't stop us! I’ll be awful on social media and you’ll be sorry!”
"Put her in a cell and take away her platform already," the Arbiter of Resurrection said.
"Wait--" she was cut off as she was portaled away, along with her supporters. Except one.
Nemesis stood up, groggy, headachy. She still felt like she had been burned to death. Cold and naked, she wasn't met with a towel first, but a slap to the face.
"You traitor," the new Myrrhine said, "you used my sister. You hurt my sister. You’re terrible."
Nemesis looked at her, "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," a voice said. Nemesis looked up.
"...Aesc?"
"Nem," she nodded, and Myrrhine stepped away. "You should feel lucky, you're not going to jail, despite, you know, betraying me to fascists." Her new body had a new voice,but it still felt like her voice. Felt like Aesc.
"I..." she swallowed, "I was at first. But...but it stopped being that. I protected you, too. There were times the Arbiter changed his mind, wanted to kill you again ahead of schedule--"
"Then you should have told me, Nem. You should have told me."
She nodded, "I...I l-"
"Don't say it. Don't. Maybe someday, I'll come back, and you'll be ready to go with me. Maybe. But not now. Someday, when you're in a place that you can tell me the truth, Nem. A place where you don't need to care about one person to realize you should care about strangers you don't know."
"I'm...I'm sorry. I know I really let you down."
Aesc put a hand on her shoulder, "Oh you absolutely did. No question there, what you did was pretty massively fucked up. But you also grew. You changed. You're not the same person anymore. You're not an Enforcer of Crime anymore."
"I'm not, actually...I'm going to resign."
"Good. I think that'll be good for you."
"I'll try to be kind."
Aesc leaned in, and gave her a kiss with her new lips, "This isn't goodbye forever. Just goodbye for now. Till you know who you really are. Till you stop licking people's boots, especially."
Nemesis nodded, "Thank you, by the way. For...making me myself."
Aesculapius laughed, "That wasn't me, you were you all along. Anyways, now that this whole plot against me has been figured out, I really should get going. I know Jason won't notice how long I'm gone, but I've noticed."
"Right," Nemesis said, "want me to make a portal?"
"Oh, if you could!" Aesc said.
"Hold on!" Myrrhine said, and ran up with a pile of clothes, "You haven't put any clothes on!"
Aesc looked down, "Oh right, yeah that'd be an odd surprise for Jason." Aesc slipped into all of it, it was the usual stuff, the robe, the practical boots, black pants, usual firmament attire. But there was one added bit of flair.
"You saved the Hedgehog pin!"
"The rest of your body was burned to ash, but that made it through! It's special enamel actually, can even survive dragon fire I guess!"
Aesc hugged her sister, "Thanks, Myrrhine. Love ya."
"Love you too, now go be a silly goober like you're supposed to be."
Nemesis took a breath, closed her eyes, and channeled energy from within the center of the Firmament, in her blood, and remembered death. Remembered that cold blackness. Remembered warm mornings in bed, and pancakes. Remembered it all. And a white circle appeared in front of Aesc. She looked back at the pair, grinned, gave a double thumbs up, and stepped through.


Back from where she was born.
Back to home.

NEXT TIME ON LADY AESCULAPIUS...

Episode 3: Self Refraction
by Laine Ferio




“Each of us are individuals, Jason. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many of us. Our circumstances, and then our choices in those circumstances, are what make us ourselves.”


Jason Jackson is alone, on a crystal ship drifting through space, waiting for his friend to come back to him, an AI for all company.
Except he’s not alone. He will never be alone. Because something is coming for him.
At the crossroads of all possibilities, one best not look into a mirror …




Lady Aesculapius Series 1 is part of 10,000 Dawns, and is a publication of Arcbeatle Press.
Lady Aesculapius was created by James Wylder.
All original elements to this story are the property of the author.
All rights Reserved, Arcbeatle Press 2019.
Our cover art is by Anne-Laure Tuduri.

Any resemblance between persons living or dead, fictional characters, and real or fictional events is either co-incidental or has been done within the bounds of parody and satire.

You can learn more about 10,000 Dawns at http://www.jameswylder.com/10000-dawns1.html